Ways You Get to Master Yourself Better

Comet N.
6 min readSep 2, 2022
Photo by Imam Muhaimin on Unsplash

No one ever fully knows themselves or what they’re capable of until certain circumstances arise. We think we do, but oftentimes, we end up doing the exact opposite of what we envisaged.

We could be asked certain stringent questions about how we would react to certain life occurrences, and give a response only based on our perspective now or experiences. As such it is required that we constantly update ourselves with new information and knowledge about who we truly are.

Some of the ways to help you master your being better include:

How you behave when you’re (finally) independent

If you’re like me, then you’d know that being independent is one of the key things you want from life. Independence gives you room to be who you are without anyone’s dictations or interference. This magnitude of freedom helps define your nature.

Questions like: are you the kind that utilizes their independence in empowering yourself and others? Or do you use that privilege to oppress others? Whatever you do with your independence or freedom reveals who you truly are.

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How do you view solitude?

Solitude is meant to be that period when you take time for yourself. To think, remember, process, and sometimes do nothing — in the case of meditation. But whereby you view solitude as a curse or bad omen that shouldn’t be practiced by you, says a lot about you. It could mean that you’re scared of yourself, scared of dealing with some demons, or afraid of what else might be underlying your personality. All in all, the way you view solitude reveals your personality.

How you see or use anger

Anger is an emotion that is used to communicate a lot of things. A lot of people misread this particular emotion because we were conditioned to categorize it as a “bad” emotion. Whereas anger is there to tell you a lot — supposedly about your being. One of the most interesting things anger reveals in you is low self-esteem. The inability to value yourself as you are. So, as a result, you use anger (oftentimes the wrong way) to communicate — hence, aggressive communication. This is why so many people are perceived as aggressive with a sure undertone of low self-esteem.

Anger also aids some people to communicate their thoughts or actions if they were once afraid of voicing out when they were in a happy mood. I guess you could put this under the category above. But this is quite different. These people are not necessarily aggressive. Anger (and pain you could say) motivates them to do what they’ve been meaning to do but push aside.

What is the anger in you telling you about yourself?

How you receive kind gestures and favors from others

We will all encounter well in one way or another. No matter how bad things get from time to time. Some people, accept the good that comes with life, even when others do them a favor. Whereas some others, simply can’t. Sometimes this is also to do with their type of upbringing. Someone unwilling to accept kind gestures might have been conditioned to feel they’re unworthy in general. Hence, why they’ll turn down offers or refuse to celebrate good things that come to them?

There are also those of us who think we must repay every last piece of things we were favored with. We believe that giving back rids us of the “debt”. This is similar to the point above in that, we feel somewhat unworthy of those good things, therefore we feel “compelled” to pay back or do something that neutralizes the good.

The way we receive favors and kind gestures say a whole lot about our being.

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The way you see our kids

If you don’t have a child, it might be hard to foresee how you could be when you get one if you want to. This is relatively the same point I mentioned earlier about not giving an answer about what you think you are or could do in advance when put in a situation.

But for those of us who have at least one, having a kid changes your life drastically. It equally and rarely defines who you are. Are you nurturing, slightly abusive, abusive to the core, aggressive, cold, strict, soft, or a little of all of this depending on what comes? To be very honest, you can’t foresee how you’ll be until you’ve had a child of your own. So many other factors play into this that might eventually shift the whole personality aside for a more adaptive one when the time comes.

How you see family

Family in every ramification is tricky. Some people are ardent family people. They stick to all the rules up to adulthood, that their parents set and it doesn’t affect them — even if it does. For some others, they swear by their friends, partners, pastors, colleagues, and so on, as their tribe. They are not hellbent on blood, but rather on relativity. Like, the actual ability to relate with someone on so many levels and they get it. This is what they call family. So, the way you see family defines your personality.

How you see time

Are you the type that loves to fantasize about what their past time could have been like? Are you the type that can no longer enjoy their birthday because it screams aging? Or are you simply the type that makes do with the time they have as it passes by devoid of what has or what will?

Your answers to these question determine your level of well-being about time — and helps to describe you generally as a person. Like, are you patient, are you grateful? Do you have an abundant mindset? They’re all applicable to whether you are time conscious or not.

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How you view money

I’ve written a few articles describing the importance of money to many people. Money is what some people want and other people need. But it’s considered a universal currency to purchase whatever you think will make life livable for you. However, money can be tricky. The more you chase for it, the more it escapes you. The more you spend on others charitably, the more you receive. And certainly, the more money you make, the less enthusiastic you become about its essence. Ultimately, you become one of these millionaires and billionaires who preach simplicity and aim to tone down the grandeur of their wealth.

For me, money is what I want in a sufficient amount to sort out things that are necessary as and when due. Any surplus might be burdensome. I think

What about you? How does money describe your personality?

Everything else…

Everything we do they say defines our personality. That’s true. It reveals the nature of thoughts and experiences thus far and sort of serves as a springboard to how we continue living. But self-awareness helps to highlight specific things that we do that create a magnitude of personality and characterization. Self-awareness elicits critical thinking and helps us pause at the moment to assimilate information about some of the things we are doing in life. To be able to say confidently, that yes, this is who we are.

A great sense of self cannot be underestimated to cultivate a peaceful life. Because once we know who we truly are, everything else that doesn’t align becomes simple (maybe not easy) to get rid of. And then there will be less noise and interference — even when there is.

So, how would you define yourself using some of the points above?

Thanks for taking the time to read.



Comet N.

A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.