List of Traits That Scream Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem

Comet N.
3 min readJan 19, 2022

There are certain traits we portray we don’t even know their consequences until such a later time when we endeavor to seat on our own and perhaps hear ourselves out and acknowledge what we are.

Some of these traits appear subtle and highly justifiable and hence are easily overlooked and left uncorrected. They end up disrupting our relationships with others, but most importantly with ourselves. But they are malleable if we can learn to admit the negative aspects to them and course-correct.

Some of these traits are as follows and their justifications are as follows:

Over-talking or over-explaining things

When one over-says or explains things, it’s usually a sign of someone who has low self-esteem. It comes from a place of someone who needs to be desperately heard and understood and can occur as a result of being constantly misunderstood from the past. If this is you, it’s best to admit and address this feeling to avoid giving yourself mental and physical headaches from trying to understand what others don’t understand about you and suffering from physical “head-aches” from over-talking as a result.

The next one is raising your voice or being aggressive while communicating

When you exhibit an aggressive way of communication, it can mean a lot of things. But one of them is sure because you think it commands respect and makes you feel heard, understood and draws serious attention to what you need it for. While you might attain your goal(s), you’re rescinding from the personal growth and development ladder because aggressive communication will, first of all, cost you your relationship with yourself through lack of peace of mind, deteriorated health, and relationship with others (romantic and formal) to say the least.

Excessive anger

Anger is not a good or bad emotion. It’s a necessary emotion required to highlight when your mood is off, and if you’re in tune with this emotion, figure out what else it’s trying to tell you. But we misuse this signal a whole lot when it is expressed excessively — especially over something infinitesimal. Sometimes when this happens, the oblivious truth behind the display is insecurity. That is because you use anger as a means to control other people’s emotions and command respect from them — which invariably says little about your self-esteem as well. You’re saying you don’t deserve respect unless by putting others down. We never win by putting others down — no matter the intentions.


Withdrawing from things that you usually engage yourself in can be a sign of low self-esteem and insecurity because you are not exercising your ability to deal with difficult situations that arise. You’re looking down on yourself a whole lot and would rather stonewall than handle what’s before you. Again, this might be justifiable and let you off easily but lacking the awareness it takes to acknowledge and course-correct from this would only continue to lead you into further alienation from things that might challenge you yet improve and uplift you in any area of your life they are needful. Stop running and start facing your demons now.

These three traits exploded above might not be much to conclude one has low self-esteem or feels insecure because they seem to have justifiable reasons backing them up or whatever else you might use to counter those notions. But know this: we know when we cheat ourselves and when we do ourselves wrong thinking that by projecting it with “justifiable” reasons to others (to hurt them?), we are getting away scot-free from being termed insecure or as a person with low self-esteem.

But until we start to accept these self-truths, we would never move beyond where we are to get to where we truly need to be emotionally, mentally, and otherwise — which is a place of authenticity — doing and being what we were created into this universe for. Nothing beats it.

Introspect this.



Comet N.

A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.