Common Relationship Slip-ups at their Beginning
Telling your significant other EVERYTHING
Relationships are about being open to your partner. This will foster closeness through the act of communicating, understanding, or mere openness. However, too much of that can do more harm than good.
Telling your partner every single detail about everything can leave them what I call knowledgeably exhausted. It makes it hard to recall some or most of the essential information hence leaving you to repeat yourself next time. This can be a bummer for people who invest their energies in opening up simply to be understood and connect through that.
Saying too much can also leave little room for mystery. This can lessen the excitement in any relationship. As there’ll be non-existing opportunities for questions or being curious.
Believing sex will do the magic
The common misconception in this age is that sex holds the mantle for a committed relationship. It normally reveals itself in many ways but the two outstanding ways are either withholding it as a way to get somebody to commit or giving it excessively as a means to keep somebody.
This is a deceptive approach when it comes to a healthy relationship. Because the truth is, sex is not all it takes to gear a relationship. It is one of the ingredients, never the main one. Other equally important factors that can give rise to a healthy relationship include compatibility (in most cadre), connection, companionship, intimacy, trust, reliability, etc.
Sex is icing on the cake
Sex, on the other hand, drives the sexual part of the relationship — which may or may not affect the other areas. The most important aspect of sex is intimacy. Intimacy is baring your heart, body, and soul to the other person — telling your truth with unspoken words and revealing your deepest fears with the hope to be accepted. Otherwise, it’d be a casual fling as sex is only icing on the cake.
This is a common relationship slip-up because somebody can be utterly physically unclad in front of somebody they don’t care about or connected with. That’s because the intention or purpose for it matters.
It’s forever or nothing
Relationships aren’t out of the equation. There’s nothing wrong about hoping and working towards a lifetime relationship with somebody you’re engaged with. But the slip-up comes when we tend to hold too tightly to things and people out of our control.
It becomes a bit obsessive when we don’t exercise an open mind that something could go wrong in the future and create excuses to keep something that isn’t worth the while going.
This, in turn, can lead to unnecessary heartache and pain best avoided by understanding that people and circumstances can change devoid of how good or well you try to manage them.
Over-indulging your partner’s family/relatives
One thing I believe in is maintaining energy.
Likewise in relationships, we need to maintain the energy we dispense at their beginnings — especially when it comes to how we relate with our partner’s families.
One of the major mistakes is acting out of character or playing a character even. We do this in the bid to please them, to get them to like and approve of us to date their child. You forget that in the long haul, you’re biting yourself in the ass simply because you may do something opposite to what we first displayed or activate your real self — which may be contrary to their pleasure scale.
What do you do then? Become frustrated and leave your partner? Seeing that their relatives are “now” frustrating for you.
This is the reason to be wary before playing nice and a role in front of the very people you might have to put up with for the rest of your life.
Ignoring your authentic self
This is a no-brainer. Faking who you’re not to get someone to fall for you is the most stressful and unsustainable relationship slip-up.
You need to be yourself. Whoever likes you will appreciate you for who you are — your dress sense, your manner of talking, your body physique, etc.
It’s okay to put a little extra effort into looking good, but don’t overdo it. Don’t ask when you apply make-up, don’t over bling your chest and wrists, and empty your cologne on your shirt when meeting with a lady. Less is more and it’s especially advisable in this aspect of dating.
Rushing your commitment timeline
Again, this is a huge blow to a commitment potentiality. While beginning dating, people often get carried away by the good things that are starting to happen to them. And sometimes, they mistake it for a sign to get to the next level, the level after that, and the one after that.
By the time they know it, they’ve rushed the commitment timeline and settled with people they don’t even like. Taking the time to study the person you are with, through having tangible conversations relating to compatibility in many areas of living, is one of the best ways to ascertain a true match. It’s also one of the most efficient ways of avoiding emotional or mental breakdowns (from a divorce, for example) when things don’t pan out well.
Being in a relationship isn’t easy, although staying in it is the tricky one.
The things we do at the very beginning always set the tone for how things pan out much later in the relationship.
For these reasons, total care must be taken to avoid some of these slip-ups — that end up sabotaging our happiness.
Such as:-
Rushing the commitment timeline: there’ isn’t a need for this, bearing in mind that what’s for you won’t escape you.
Ignoring your authentic self: this is a no-no. If you invite another persona to run your relationship course, it will crash.
Overindulging your partner’s relatives: don’t start what you can’t finish. Be yourself. Be polite, humble, and open to talk to. This should do.
It’s forever or nothing: not every relationship has to end in marriage and not every marriage has to be forever.
Thinking sec will do the magic: sex is only icing on that relationship cake. The cake is doing things that will make it work. Like ensuring you both are compatible, trustworthy, emotionally mature, and willing to turf it out.
Good Luck.
I am a writer who derives joy in relating and in being related to as awkward as it gets. However, I’m aware it comes at a mental price which I am still fathoming how to deal, one of which ways is to write about it. Hoping you can join me in this intriguing journey by subscribing to my account.
