Choose Your Tribe

Don’t chase after it, don’t fret about it

Comet N.
3 min readMar 11, 2022


Photo credit to Melissa Askew on Unsplash

There are common signs we tend to miss every day about who our people are.

The way they talk, how they perceive things, how they remember things, how they treat things etc.

Assumptions about who they are arise from mere signs such as a person smiling back at you, giving you a lift, and all that. These gestural ways of selection aren’t bad, except they’re fickle to choose your tribe with.

Choose your tribe is more serious than it sounds. It entails linking with people who feel you to the core and whom you can also feel the same way.

Choosing your tribe comes from understanding deeply the sort of person you are. What your type of personality is and thus who attracts and repels to it (or them).

A tribe is a group of well-meaning like-minded people (folks if you’re lucky) who will solidly stand by your side. They already studied you and know what you’re capable of. So, even if you mess up, they get it.

A tribe is not something or someone you desperately seek.

Tribe pursuit is more like a naturally attracting phenomenon to which you slowly but steadily find your people and keep them to your side. If you have to chase for people, then they’re not your tribe. They are just that — people.

Tribes are chosen

They are keenly selected amongst the abundant. Tribes are rare, but it can be confusing selecting your tribe — the same way you’d mix grains with sand mistakenly after sieving.

It’s a matter of keeping your mind open so that you can easily rid of people who aren’t fitting to your type of person and welcome the ones who are.

Finding one’s tribe is an essential way of living, considering that we’re social beings in nature

So even though we ought to mingle, it’s worth mingling with like-minds to make life worth living — antithetical to dealing with people who only bring you down, misunderstand and criticize you, and try to change you.

Your tribe doesn’t need to change you

They are there to support you no matter what. Although, with the right approach they’re bound to help you work through your flaws in admittance to the fact that no one is flawless regardless of how good they are.

Your tribe gets you, loves you for who you are

Your tribe uplifts you when you feel low and celebrates with you when you’re at your high. Your tribe needn’t say much yet you are acting. They’re the sort of people you can be open, honest, and vulnerable to without worrying so much about it — whether you’ll be judged or taken the wrong way.

Choosing a tribe helps nurture us as social beings, while enhancing our living experiences all in one

It’s a matter of opening up to that opportunity when you see it. For example: recognizing and differentiating between a mere friend/acquaintance and a soul friend. The latter is a tribe member for sure.

A tribe is necessary to foster a deeper connection with certain people — your people.

Choosing your people also exists methodically through alienation/ uprooting, which is where you deselect some people who feed your life unhealthily.

Your lifestyle and well-being depends on the caliber of people you call your own. Your tribe. There’s a great sense of healthy esteem and self-confidence that comes from choosing your tribe (right). So, it’s surely worth doing.

But if you have to worry about someone becoming a part of it or chasing them to be, then it’s not to become part of your tribe. Think and try again.

Choose your tribe, feel free to deselect and reshuffle them when needed. That’s living.



Comet N.

A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.