“You Are The Average of The Five People You Associate Yourself the Most With” — Jim Rohn.

Comet N.
6 min readMay 31, 2020

How does it feel when you meet a longtime friend you haven’t seen in awhile?. One whom you once adored and fancied their way of life?. Does it bring back memories? Memories of certain life attributes they display that made you both click and become friends in the first place and make you wonder if they are still the same? I suppose it’s an exciting moment filled with lots of catch-ups and possible exchange of contact numbers to stay in touch this time.

I also presume relief, comfortability, and feeling energetic. Etcetera.

One of the principal reasons is because you both are like-minds.

You share similar values, or at least you appreciate most of the values or traits that they have.

Like-mind is synonymous with similarity in cognitive abilities — the way you think, understand things, speak, and act, that is relative to someone else. You both automatically attract.

It’s a fundamental belief stemmed from the law of magnetism in physics that “unlike poles attract and like poles repel” but in actuality, most times, the reverse is the case.

Like-minds operate in the same radar and frequency. When you meet one, it’s easy to get synchronized with them. When you do, you’d most likely feel instantaneously comfortable.

You feel comfortable from knowing that you’re not alone — your peculiar habits, idiosyncrasies — someone else shares them with you.

Meeting like-minded people goes a long way to making you adapt to unfamiliar environments — such as a workplace, seminar event, party, or other social gatherings. It makes you feel welcome because at least you now have someone you can easily relate to.

Meeting like-minded people makes you feel energetic or powerful. This is due to knowing that ‘together’ you can do more, accomplish more. It facilitates good team spirit and hence, efficiency in result production — as opposed to someone who doesn’t ‘get it’. Because, I mean, it’s more stressful at times dealing with unlike-minded people.

Like-minded people make you smile all the time. Especially when they exhibit queer funny characters that you’d usually laugh at yourself for. Isn’t it so intriguing, yet relaxing to meet someone that thinks and behaves like you in many instances including the way they make jokes or a caricature of something, or plainly being inane in other ways? I find it so.

Meeting like-minded people also forces you to reflect on yourself. Because they almost serve as mirrors to yourself, you’d most likely figure out the good and bad aspects that they depict and use that means to reflect on yourself and think out a better way than what they’ve just shown or how they acted. While you also get to relish the good part in them that makes you proud.

A myriad of ways meeting like-minded people adds to your life.


To meet and appreciate a like-minded person starts with determining what type of mind you possess in the first place.

It’s impossible to ascertain if you’re compatible with someone else if you don’t even know who you are. What you are capable of. Strengths and weaknesses. And ultimately your values.

It is through knowing who you are, the kind of mind that you have, that you’ll easily spot anybody who shares similar traits and values and hence, like-minded.

To do this, you need to be self-aware. You need to undergo various means of getting to know yourself. Trying things that are within and outside your comfort zone to enumerate what you are like.

  • Equanimity — Do you smile in the face of danger and fish out resourceful solutions or do you panic and go of-course?
  • Honesty — Do you often prefer telling white lies over bitter truths because it’s a safer bet to scale through by?
Photo by Hui Gao on Unsplash

By association;

  • Responsibility/accountability — Do you appreciate people who take responsibilities for their actions and take charge of their lives, come what may?
  • Confidence/boldness— Do you like people who defend themselves even when they are seemingly going to lose a huge favor ?
  • Contentment — Do you like contented people that trust their hustle and not compromise their values to get what they want — otherwise taking drastic measures in desperate times?

They could even be as simple as do you enjoy getting feedbacks? acknowledgements, steadfastness, prioritization? — or in people who do?

Your answers to these questions, most importantly, your open-mindedness and willingness to learn about yourself, your surrounding environments and observing people you come in close contacts with will enable you to understand the kind of person you are and most definitely the kind of people you’d keep by your side in the future.

I enjoy meeting or associating with my kind. People who share similar values with me such as competency and efficiency in their field of work, who regard honesty as their best policy, people who are modest and relatable despite their rich status quo, sophistication, discipline, and privacy amongst many.

I didn’t learn about these in one day and it’s certainly not a one-size-fits-all. I gradually and consistently came about all these by first of all being curious enough to learn what ticks me off and what doesn’t — by being in tune with myself and by observing others as well — in conjunction to inculcating the habits of reflecting always — real-time and at later times as well.

This, therefore, means that self-discovery can also be be made possible, continuously, through journaling, curiosity to things, versatility — such as reading or taking other adventurous routes etcetera.

You’re better off mixing with groups of people who will bring out the best in you and also allow you savor the best parts of you — as opposed to the ones who don’t know and understand you and just can’t. This enables your thriving well in a workplace, relationships, and family — where its essentiality is more pronounced.

It’s always during the times of long-haul commitments that it’s highly important you fixate on anybody or people who share similar values and minds like yours because then you’d have no problem being yourself — which comes with its own myriad of advantages — for example, sustenance of the said relationship.

The perks of cliques, teams, and other group forms, are derived from rubbing minds with the like-minded.

Relating to like-minds at first seems counterintuitive as we’ve always been told to endeavor to do things that are outside our reach to grow and possibly attain ‘greater’ heights. This is emphasized in the law of magnetism in physics which states that “unlike poles attract and like poles repel”. But Bear forthwith in mind also, that there’s nothing wrong with associating with like-minds. Individuals who share similar interests, tastes, and most importantly, values with you. The benefits outweigh the downsides.

Associating with like-minds will bring out the best in you. Firstly, it makes you adaptable to any condition or place, which kick-starts your mind to settle down and be yourself. In that lies power and confidence to be and speak the way you like, and associate better — with smiles and other gestures that works for you. It also enables you to work better as a team, with the same energy/power from being yourself. It most definitely will let you view others as mirrors to your own being; behavior and attitude and ascertain what needs tweaking or uprooting hence, as a reflective means.

To do this, you need to get to know what kind of person you are and the kind of mind you possess. It quickens the attraction and repulsion, as and when due.

*Beware though, it is possible that when you get to know yourself better, you’re bound to have fewer friends or people around you — as you won’t be naturally inclined to be in the same ‘circle’ as those whose behaviors, characters or values, are off-radar*. It means you may end up having only one ‘real’ friend as opposed to many acquaintances confused as friends.

As a renowned businessman and motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said — “You’re the average of the five people you associate yourself the most with” .

Be yourself; choose others wisely.



Comet N.

A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.