You’re Always on a Journey Until You Achieve What You Wish For (A Boundless Cycle).
Priceless advice I received from my father.
We’re always torn whenever we don’t achieve what we wish for. We take setbacks very personal and often times are inundated and hence, discouraged from taking another step — because we’re afraid that it might end the same way.
This is called learned helplessness like many psychologists refer to it as. It is when we presume due to a past unaccomplished ordeal, that we won’t make it with what we intend or wish for.
Learned helplessness is self-sabotaging.
It prevents you from moving forward for the fear you might “fail” again even before trying.
Being assiduous in this case will help to override this ‘syndrome’ by bearing in mind that the journey is still ongoing until you reach the finish line.
I’m a highly ambitious person and one who “had” always viewed life with one lens and considered it linear. Because of this, I couldn’t cope with all the jabs and downs life presented itself with. I always got entitled to all the goodies because I worked so hard for them and hoped that things would fall into place.
And whenever they didn’t, I would lose hope entirely and self-sabotage by not allowing myself out of that heart-wrenching loop so that it’d be more painful altogether.
Each time I had this episode of life happenings, I’d relent in making an effort; my next thought is “what’s the point?” “Isn’t it going to all end up the same?” and my dad would always tell me to desist from such thoughts as I’m not allowed to give up, the journey continues until I achieve what I want no matter how excruciating.
This has kept me going and likewise you too — I hope.
For whatever difficult times you’re facing in the bid to achieve what you want, you must embrace it as part of the process of getting there and mustn’t give up before doing so.
There’re certain life mantras that would help you in this journey, mantras that served my dad to overcome early adulthood difficulties and becoming who he currently is and the mantras that are serving me now to face mine;
Life’s not linear
If life were to be a straight line, that means as you wish so shall it be; as you ask, so shall you receive; as you study, so shall employment await you; as you date; so shall it lead to marriage and the list goes on.. I’m sure by now, you’ve been able to decipher that nothing of the sorts have ever really been that predictably “straightforward” to achieve. That’s because life’s not linear.
Life’s a maze; full of ups and downs, zig-zag motion
Now, this is life. The sort that everyone goes through. The sort that makes you highly relatable to the next person. The sort that triggers compassion and empathy. The kind that erodes self-entitlement and nudges you to keep pushing. The sort that presents you with many options but with less clarity on whether it would pan out as expected. The kind that forces you to try something else; professionally, family-wise, personally and/ or otherwise.
Life’s a maze, it’s full of struggles and only the fittest will survive it and that’s only because when they fell, they rose up, dusted themselves and kept moving.
Passion can only take you so far
What gets you to one place, may not get you to another
Just like any buffet lunch or dinner that you go for, passion is like a starter. When you have passion for something, it can only take you so far but when you persist to achieve what you want, it makes it all gratifying when in the end you achieve what you want. In other words, passion gets you started but hard work and persistence leads to you to the end.
Accomplishing a goal is the beginning of another phase
Life is a cycle. The more you earn, the more you yearn. Taking the initiative in understanding that being able to accomplish something isn’t the end it all makes you mature and capable (in all ramifications) in handling life. Because what it shows is that you understand that life is a cycle and are prepared to take on more as you end one. You may desperately seek a promotion at work and get it but if you’re aren’t prepared for that new title and more spacious executive office “upstairs”, be rest assured that you’re likely going to be demoted, further less than the level you were at before “downstairs”. That’s life. Take on more, do more.
You can be tired, but never give up.
If during the process of achieving what you want there’re hitches you aren’t expressing, chances are you’ll explode unhealthily and do more dangerous things (to yourself or loved ones) — all because you believe in “bottling things up”. Caging your emotions during your trying times doesn’t make you cool. As a matter of fact, it’s inhumane. The ability to process and express your emotions accordingly is what stands you out and gives you a fresh state of mind and body to keep soaring.
You’re allowed to feel tired and any other kind of emotion towards the “whole thing” but never give up and that’s because if you haven’t gotten to the finish line, then the journey is still on.
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean the journey will be smooth.
This is another way of asking you to erode that spirit of entitlement.
Like my dad would still always say;
“if you asked everyone what they want, they’ll respond with mostly what you want and they’re also usually qualified for them too”.
This means that you’re not the only one who worked so hard to achieve that thing. Others did too and are left daunted. You need to keep pushing and pray for the favor that whatever is yours doesn’t escape you. Develop the mindset that life’s a competition and the majority of the people in it wants what you want and do something different from time to time, to stand you out — all in the bid to get what you want.
There’s bound to be difficulties even though you worked so hard for it. It’s not you, it’s life.
Learn to be persistent, assiduous (stubborn), learn to embrace the difficulty that comes with getting what you want.
Stop taking life too personal.
Yes. Please. Life’s is happening to everyone too. No person’s life is perfect. Yes, it’s understandable to not want to be included amongst those of us whom life is tedious for but when it gets to your turn to “bear your cross”, do so with dignity. It won’t kill you and if it doesn’t, it’ll only make you stronger. Being and staying aware of the different anomalies that befall you and others only makes it bearable and inherently helps you to cultivate the spirit of compassion and empathy for those you come in contact with.
It’s not you, it’s life.
Life’s not a bed of roses. It is full of ups and downs. It’s the ability to keep forging ahead despite it all that singles you out and makes you feel like a champion.
As insatiable as we are and as competitive life can get, it’s essential to conceive that passion (starter) hard work (main course) assiduousness (main course/dessert) are life’s requisites that will help you reach the finish life (fulfilled) while bearing the mantras in mind, such as the ones stated above, in conquering whatever obstacles may be deriding you from reaching the finish line.
However, it’s noteworthy that reaching the finish line starts another cycle to-be-finished, therefore, always be prepared.
I know you’ll get “there” because you had the patience/persistence to read through this article to this point.
The harder the struggle, the livelier you are, and the bigger the winnings.