You Make Exceptions with Whom you Love
It’s hard to admit this, but when we love somebody (friends, family, etc), we may make exceptions (intently or unintentionally) with them. With our loved ones, we break the rules, tweak the standards, or relax entirely.
Having a soft spot for someone means you single them out and treat them differently than you would others. It’s not a negative thing to do so, although people advise to slate and enforce strict boundaries, especially with our loved ones. But it rarely works.
When you love somebody you feel freer with them and expect the same from them. You communicate with ease, you let go, you let your guard down, and become your most authentic self. This already creates an exceptional avenue for them to your emotional, sometimes physical, and psychological life. They impact every bit of your being. In such a way that if you heard about any mishap, you’d gasp in horror about their welfare.
That’s the power of love.
This kind of love spans beyond a relationship between two people; it consists of other types of relationships between siblings, parents, relatives, and sometimes friends.
What you would normally tolerate from a loved one differs (and should differ by right) from how you treat a random person. People are quick to cut off acquaintances, colleagues even, friends at times, at the slightest misadventure. However, with their loved ones, they tread with caution. Even if they cut them off, it’s never so easy or as smooth, considering how much love and reliability you once had for them. That’s the power of love.
You make exceptions with how you treat your loved ones, which identifies them as your loved ones compared to other people in your life. Most times you do so, by being honest with them, being simple around them, or being unapologetically yourself. Which is most likely antithetical to how you’d be around someone you’re getting to know or don’t feel anything for.
You make exceptions for your loved ones through the things you tolerate. For example, you could disagree with them and exhibit fearsome traits in the heat of the moment. This is a sign of love, in that it shows you’re capable and comfortable exhibiting your raw emotions with a loved one, which makes it all the more hurtful considering their stance in your life.
Or you could be calm and tolerating of their misdemeanors simply for the same reason of loving them, as opposed to if it were somebody else — whereby, calmness would be the least trait to exude.
It’s all about love.
Loving someone makes you break a lot of protocols. You might begin to question yourself in the bid to understand the side you keep on showing them. A side you never thought existed. Questions like: am I really this soft? Am I such a calm person? Am I this forgiving? All these questions are normal. Don’t beat yourself up too hard. Truth is, you may not be any of these things you tend to show your loved ones, except when it concerns them or when you’re around them. Thus, it’s all about love.
You’re maturing into a greater version of yourself with a greater capacity to love and most of all, compromise. Which is the bedrock of any relationship. The ability to step down when all’s too up and step up, when it’s too low — to balance things out. It’s also about sacrifice, constantly showing up for one another devoid of any setbacks.
It’s not as easy to make exceptions when it comes to our loved ones, but it’s a necessary evil we can’t hold ourselves back from. Times require that you break your protocol or act as if you’re less of yourself to meet your loved one halfway. Most notably, a loved one would not run you down when you compromise for their sake. A true family will not constantly put you in tight awkward defensive positions all the time in the bid for you to prove your life. Because in that case, they’re what is called a frenemy or unfriendly friend (in the case of a friend). Or in some cases where you start to use the phrase “family isn’t blood”, then it would be time to take a step back!
Thanks for taking the time to read.