While growing up, we were told to tell the truth as that upholds our morals. We were told that liars are like the devil who is in or will go to hell. And because of that, it got ingrained in most of us to always tell the truth and feel extremely sinful each time we lied.
Telling the truth is being able to say things the way they are. Honesty is synonymous with telling the truth but part of being honest can also be telling a lie honestly.
Let me explain.
There are some situations we find ourselves in that require us to tell a variation of the truth for a greater good as opposed to spelling it out the way it is. This is commonly referred to as a white lie. A lie told to evade bigger issues instead.
But the kind of honesty we were taught to practice won’t lead us further ahead in life as we hoped. Saying things as they are can give rise to more issues than not.
I’ve attended several job interviews where honesty got me booted out of the recruitment list.
I’ve been in some relationships where telling the truth and sticking with “my truth” got me out of it sooner than expected.
And so on…
These examples are common in everyone. I’m sure we’ve all once been in a situation where spilling out guts like it is got us into more trouble than not. Labelings such as being “too bold”, too expressive, or “nice” and the likes.
Lying is not always a lie. It can be considered as the truth in disguise, to save a soul or a precious spot.
To say that one shouldn’t lie refers to not doing so against yourself (introspectively speaking) or somebody else (maliciousness, wickedness). Because then you’re outrightly putting them in trouble or endangering their lives even.
But lying to save a dying friend, telling a few white lies to get a promotion, telling a lie to get over an awkward situation at work and other related opportunities in other strata of life is what it takes. Lying in this context, therefore, is not always a lie. But considered as the truth in disguise to save a soul or a precious spot.
Lies are more believed than some truths.
This is inherent in most relationships. There’s a trite that telling women lies is easier than telling us the truth since we tend to question the truths. It’s because the psychology of lies forces our brain to assimilate them as lies — and lies as truths. Sometimes due to how well-told they were too. This goes to show that some lies are easily believed when told honestly for whatever reason significant others do so.
I was honest in my previous job about being pregnant and I got fired almost immediately, I was honest about my commitment intentions in my previous relationships and it soured it up quickly…the list goes on.
This piece isn’t to teach us to lie or explain what the code of conduct to adhere to are or teach us how to live our lives in general, but rather it’s simply highlighting the need to juggle up words with pure intentions sometimes to get what we need to get at various points in our lives. That is, grow. As opposed to following what we were taught from birth that might not necessarily help us but instead hinder us now we are adults.
The choice is ours.
