You Are Yourself Already
Let your shadow fit in. That is, the template of your real self
There’s this common misconception about self-discovery which has come to my notice. And it did come to my notice as I’m currently and have been on this journey all my life, but only really started taking it seriously two years ago.
This misconception is that we are trying to find ourselves. That we are not who we are yet.
Self-discovery isn’t necessarily finding who you are. No, you are already who you are, who you have long been defined by God way before you were created.
It’s a question of what you now versus who you are.
What you are showing to the world may be different from who you are and that’s okay because that’s the point of self-discovery. It’s a matter of doing a soul search to figure out if what you’re showing or surviving as is aligned with who you are.
Alignment to our true nature works in two ways. it’s either we add some virtues or shed some traits to be truly aligned with the person God created us to be — and not what the world is trying to mold us into.
I’m very sure you must have encountered this statement somewhere that says: “you are not bad because you did something bad”. Again, this is not to excuse extreme bad behaviors such as taking another’s life, etc. Neither is it to contradict that our actions go a long way to defining who we are. But more of emphasizing that most times the way we live isn’t truly who we are meant to be living as. We’re on autopilot. Going by others’ scripts as opposed to looking inside to figure out who we are.
Going by the first cause of adding virtues to our personality to become who we are, is a sure-fire way of discovering and living as our true selves.
When you look inward and discover that there are certain elements of virtues in your life which you lack that helps you become who you truly are, then it’s only reasonable that you inculcate them.
For instance, you might be an honorable person in nature — or so you feel. But when you keep doing the things that mar your reputation and integrity constantly, you’re not aligning better with who you were meant to be. As such, cultivating honesty, to yourself and others, as a habit would go a long way to help you achieve your true being.
Another example is when you believe you are a straightforward person but living otherwise. Always pretending or people-pleasing. Cultivating the habit of saying yes or no and meaning it, would go a long way too to helping you alight from the misdirected path and become you again.
Likewise, when you have to subtract certain traits to be who you are.
What we don’t realize is that by taking away certain traits from our lives we are adding a whole lot more to them. This psychology is simple, yet not that comprehensible to the lot.
When we look introspectively and come to the conclusion that certain traits don’t fit who we truly are, then it’s only normal that we rid them to align better.
It could be traits such as unhealthy feeding habits, overindulgence, loudness, talkativeness, people-pleasing, wasting your time on frivolous things, extra extroverted or introverted behaviors, and the list goes on…
Find your muse, take out anything that doesn’t groove with the real you. Not this you. Like this current one you believe is the you.
Go on trips, engage in adventurous activities, pray always, sit alone, be alone most times, talk to people who genuinely care about you, and maybe, just maybe, you’d find what truly aligns with you. You won’t miss it with one of these aforementioned ways.
Finding ourselves can be a back-and-forth journey. One moment we are sure of who are are and living it, another time we might be feeling like a fraud stuck in the body of another person. When this becomes the case, it’s okay to know that it’s not particularly a linear journey. You can keep finding yourself over and over again.
Like Oprah Winfrey advised in one of her speeches, life is now.
There’s no stop or halt or an endpoint per se. As long as we keep learning and inculcating what we have and shedding what doesn’t fit. That’s what matters.
But it’s refreshing and noteworthy to know we are already ourselves. We’re only now beginning to fit into the template of who we are meant to be. Our shadows which we misaligned from.