Many times we grit our teeth at the sound of harsh opinions dished out by many of our frenemies, unfriendly friends, and most painfully, our families and other loved ones. These opinions are always hard to ignore because we either believe they come from valid people or from deep care for us.
But that’s only a misconception.
Just because your loved one says something that seems true about you does not mean you have to digest it hook-line-and-sinker. They make mistakes, they misconceive. Most times, they just don’t know you well enough. It’s their opinion, therefore, not your concern.
There are many reasons why people feel the need to opine in others' lives and until you pay close attention to them, you will always blame yourself — and worse still, define who you are based on what they tell you.
But one main reason is this:
Others’ opinions are most times a reflection of who they are, what they lack, and who they wish they could be/have
When you see it from this perspective, it makes more sense why the tale-tellers would always want to attack you with their words. Because they wish they didn’t suck so much in many areas of their life where you’re probably thriving. When such happens, exercise some compassion towards them and do not take a single word they say to heart.
It’s about them not you.
But there are times you get genuine opinions about something from someone and you should heed to them.
Someone that cares about you, understands you at least, and loves you at most. In which case, I don’t mind.
My life mantra when it comes to opinions from certain people is that: you have to care enough and understand me before I can listen to anything you have to say to or about me — in return.
I won’t shove this mantra down your throat, however, I implore you to learn to care more only when genuine concerns are dished out in genuine formats for your own good. There’s no wrong in that.
But most importantly, learn to know yourself first. Because it’s only when you do you’ll be able to differentiate between a hater and a lover, a friend from a frenemy, or an unfriendly friend. Some people are just there to suck you dry like a tick. And when you let them, it becomes both your problems as opposed to if you evaded them.
Be wise.
