What is Tears?
The popular opinion and falsehood surrounding shedding tears are that it connotes ill feelings and exemplifies weakness. This has stirred up so many people and caused them to always hide their true feelings — by portraying a smiling face with a broken heart, or a broad smile with clenched teeth — or smiling with the face of ‘danger’.
As a crier, I’m here to defy the odds and proclaim confidently that shedding tears isn’t defined by/as any of the following above that should cause you to deny yourself of that natural outpouring — especially when you already feel like it. Because shedding tears means a couple more things other than the negative connotations. And they are:
First of all, crying is an elemental part of our development journey as a person
Many people believe that when they cry, it’s odd. I’ve heard popular sayings like ‘men don’t cry’; ‘strong people don’t cry’ and others alike. We forget that crying was the very first thing we did immediately we were born. Which signified life, or living. When a baby doesn’t cry at birth, they’re literally induced to cry as a sign they’re alive.
So why would you want to deny yourself of something that primal that represents how humane you are in the first place? For who and for what?
Crying is not for the women alone, neither is it for the weak nor other special or odd groups of people. Unless you’re of course a professional mourner — in which case doesn’t rule out anyone else’s tendencies to still cry.
Crying is instead, Cathartic
Have you ever felt this rush of emotions running through you when you finally achieve that one hectic goal you set a long time ago? Or when your loved one got released from prison after serving their time for many years. Or when you’ve just realized that a stroke of bad luck or omen worked to your favor instead? I bet at that point, all you wanted to do was just cry.
Not because you aren’t happy but because you’re so happy.
That’s another essence of crying. It is cathartic. It helps you feel relief from releasing what’s bottled up inside — whether due to a good or a bad event — but never just the bad. Contrary to what many people think and believe.
Crying is showing you’re vulnerable, but not all the time
When you cry, two things are normally interpreted in the bid; you’re sad or you’re happy. Now when you’re sad and cry, it’s not always a bad thing. It’s a sign and state of vulnerability. And being vulnerable isn’t a crime. It’s a state where you can be easily hurt emotionally, physically, and otherwise. Despite being that, it’s also a means of forming tight bonds with other people who can relate to your feelings.
According to Nick Wignall, the brilliant psychologist and writer, vulnerability is a skill everyone must have and uphold as it fosters trust, intimacy, connection, or bonding in any relationship.
So quit shying away from crying, because it’s bound to bring you closer to the people who matters the most to you more than you think.
Crying isn’t a bad omen. It’s instead a means of expressing yourself.
Crying is a sign that triggers compassion from the people around you. It helps to make them understand that you may not be feeling too good about one particular experience or another.
It can fetch you help.
Seeing other people cry can make you cry if you’re deeply empathetic about how or why they’re crying. So crying helps you fathom aspects to you too.
Crying actually makes you look strong. Because you’re expressing those natural tendencies without fear or favor.
Crying is not negative, it’s not a sign of oddity, and definitely, it’s not a ‘selling point’ either — unless you’re crying on cue for a movie role.
But rather, it’s a strong well of emotions, most time uncharacterized, that stems from the bottom of your heart and expressed merely as water and salt — but with deeper connotations to it. Which includes strength, love, compassion, joy — and of course sorrow too. Never just one. Sometimes a combination and hence the word ‘bitter-sweet’ feeling.
Stop beating yourself up for expressing yourself. Rather embrace that as part of you. Crying was how we came to be confirmed alive when we first came into this world. And when we depart this world, it would also become what becomes of our loved-ones.
It’s a sign. It’s an omen. It’s a form of expression. Choose to do it and choose to use it well. Unless you’re crying on cue on a movie set, it’s hideous to cry unnecessarily to extort people of their money, time, and efforts.
So when you feel that powerful urge to explode on the inside, release it beautifully on the outside by shedding a tear or two. Or cry, if it persists. It’s okay to. It’s normal. It's everything, but a crime or just a bad omen.
You can’t know its beauty until you’ve ‘allowed’ yourself to experience it once again. So try it and see for yourself.
