Before now, you’d been doing a lot of mind mapping, some arrangements, placements, and replacements generally to try to come to terms with the fact that now, actually, you need a change of wardrobe.
After much ado, and I mean it, you conclude what type of outfits you’d like to own, the type of shoes you’d like to buy.
What do you do then?
You plan a shopping date, set an alarm, woke up one Saturday morning to go shopping at the shopping mall. But it’s been a long time since you did some clothe and shoe shopping and so despite some nerve-wracking energy, you persisted and still went ahead to shop.
On getting to the mall, you realize that the anxiety you feel for trying on new clothes and shoes is real.
You think to yourself I can’t be found wasting other customers’ time in the dressing room due to my indecisiveness. So you decide to implore a much selective, but yet efficient way to maximize your shopping time and still get what you want. That is, you begin gauging the size of each outfit and accessories you see with your eyes but really with your mind.
You start by looking at the size of the wear, the size of the sleeve, the shape of the neck, the make of the gown. You think to yourself: is it asymmetrical? Is it straight? Is it bogus enough? All the metrics are used to confirm your choice or abort.
Finally, you reach out to some wears get them wrapped up at the till, and off you go. On your way home, the crippling anxiety from the uncertainty of whether the clothes and shoes will fit or not, for several inconveniencing reasons, get hold of you.
But you brush it off confidently because you’re sure of what fits you.
This is usually the case with self-aware people.
They know what fits their life.
They know because they’ve measured it with their eyes and mind.
They have taken the time to determine the type of person they are; what ticks them off, what gives them pleasure, what lifts and dampens their spirits. They also know what their boundaries are and when it’s crossed. They select the type of people to surround themselves with and the sort of environments to avoid.
They appear like perfectionists. But they are not. They are people who took serious care of themselves and time out to study who they are and what their purpose in the universe is.
I bet it took more than a year at least. I also bet it wasn’t an easy phenomenon. The process came with acknowledgments of some bitter truths, regrets, tolerance, tears, pain, hurt, sadness — and then comes resilience, self-compassion, self-forgiveness, persistence, endurance , then good self-esteem, self-confidence,— to get to this “perfectionist” part you’re only seeing now.
This is the result of their polished skill and ability to gauge now what fits them — so easily — and what doesn’t. which gets you envious all the time and makes you wonder; but what about me? How can I get to that level where I can intuitively pick out what I want without all the hassles and it fits me as I envisaged?
That’s the point where you have to go back to the drawing board. Find out who you are, use your eyes and ears mostly, and most importantly, use your mind. And you’ll find the answers to the questions surrounding what fits you and what doesn’t.
When you do, you’ll start to shed off things that don’t fit; friends, family, colleagues, as well as material things such as clothes, gadgets, habits, schedules, lifestyle, you name it… because then you know it doesn’t align with “the you” you’ve discovered.
Because at the end of the day, you’ll drive home nervously after having shopped for something you didn’t try on at the shop but eventually it fits you. The ripple effects as above mentioned multiplies. That’s when it’s worth it.
Thank you for reading.
