Our self-worth gets harnessed by how we were raised. If you had parents or loved ones who constantly made you feel worthy, then you grow in and with that type of mindset. But if you had people barely noticed anything about you, or did but on a conditional basis, it has a way of messing with one’s esteem growing up.
Now that it’s established how our self-esteem is built, the question is how do we continue to maintain it (if any) as time goes by.
This is what our self-esteem really is.
Depending on the tale we grew up hearing, a lot of people measure their self-esteem by the way they look, how much they earn, the caliber of people in their lives, their type of relationships, and other subcategories alike.
But what self-esteem really means is how you view yourself naked. Naked in the sense of not having anything on — both literally and metaphorically. It deals with how much you appreciate yourself devoid of all your good and bad. It’s hellbent on how you choose to see yourself irrespective of how others define you.
Even though we know this, it’s still difficult to build or maintain our self-esteem. Some of the prominent causal factors of this are ingrained societal ways, social circles, money, romantic relationships, and familial connection.
How?
Ingrained Societal Ways
Our personal beliefs can get marred by the ways of society. If we strongly believe in one thing about ourselves, society can change that for us through “comparable” means. For example, someone who has a genetic predisposition to acquiring big bones (and being on the big side), can acknowledge this fact about themselves and be comfortable with it. However, societal trends can be averse to this strong personality if care is not taken through display and sending across a stronger message of/about skinny types. Making it look like it’s the “in” thing.
To manage this pressure:
It’s best to keep reminding yourself of who you are. Create strong affirmative sentences and listen to your intuition to not derail from what keeps you going, and most importantly, the factual aspect of who you are.
Social Circles
Our social circle is normally comprised of people from different strata of society. Therefore, people’s opinions can run you off the “wrong-right” way or vice-versus, if you do not hold steady to the aspects that boost your esteem. For example, a friend that convinces your marriage is beautiful based on their experience — listing and giving off (perhaps, only) the positive aspects of it. In this instance you may forgo your priorities and start to believe marriage is either for you, going for it sooner than expected.
In this case:
To maintain your esteem, you need to constantly revise what your priorities are. You need to keep yourself abreast of things that you think fits your person uniquely; their reasons backing them up, and stick with it.
Money
Money and monetary favors have a way of making someone go aloof with both their persons and plans. No judgments are meted here, but if you’ve had to adjust your esteem or succumb to immeasurable pressure due to monetary values, you need to forgive yourself and start rebuilding your self-esteem again. Monetary favors are hard to resist for the less privileged. Mind you, this also encompasses people who have enough money but cannot get what they want with it still. For instance: we may have all the money in the world, and lack good people to talk to or to help us out when we need it. Therefore when we find someone (anyone), we tend to enslave ourselves and esteem to keep it.
If you’re in this position:
Acknowledge how tedious and frustrating it is. But release yourself from it with thoughts that what you’ve done or are doing is only temporary — and normal too. You’re not a slave or a fool. You know what you want and who you are, most importantly. And you can continue to live on your terms empowered moving on.
Romantic Relationships
After our familial upbringing, the next stage of our lives which often defines our self-esteem is the type of romantic relationships we involve ourselves in. We look up to our significant others like we do our parents, therefore, if you have a partner who upholds you, then you’re bound to keep harnessing your esteem and worthiness, but if you have one who mistreats or abuses you (in any sector), then you will constantly question your esteem and live in a confused state until you confront it and make a lasting decision of choosing yourself.
Familial Relationships
Even though we are all grown up (I’m assuming only adults are reading this now), we still have some connections to our parents or caregivers. Most of us are still in touch with them, and so on. This means that our self-esteem still continues to either depreciate based on how “we allow” them to treat us now (wrongly), or appreciate by how we manage their “excesses”. It’s up to us.
Self-esteem and our worth are intertwined and always will be. How we define ourselves starts from how we were raised. But we can truly redefine ourselves by muting the outside noise of those (things) who are not us; society, partners, friends, money, and family, and allow ourselves to uphold our worth.
Let your instincts do the talking. Validate your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Because we are worthy.
#self #self-esteem #self-value #inspiration
Thank you for taking the time to read
