Some Favors are Buying Your Freedom
Sometimes when we find ourselves in a deep mess in life we throw cautions to the wind and make a deal with the devil. The temptations to act against our values spring their ugly heads up and we take the bait. This mostly happens to us in the form of accepting certain types of favor from certain kinds of people. In which case can lead us further down the pit than we initially were before the favor came.
A lot of things in life are not always the way they appear. It’s a mantra we’ve heard over and over again yet fail to acknowledge it in a way that serves us.
It’s simple: many things come into our lives either to multiply or subtract from us. And favor, as harmless as it sounds isn’t always favorable. It can play in as an act to rob off you while giving to you at the same time and if care isn’t taken, it might take more than it gives.
One of the many cons where we encounter blind spots towards receiving favors comfortably is when it replaces our freedom as a price.
Now, there are two ways this can happen: intentionally or unintentionally.
Intentionally speaking, there are certain favors that people grant you to stomp your growth, mar your rights or rob you of your freedom. These calibers of people exist for the “give and take” motto — which is similar to the likes of the vices of a witch doctor who asks for a leg to give you an arm.
Not everyone who offers you help cares.
Their method of operation for this robbery of your “personality goods” doesn’t always come off too conspicuous, hence, the blind spot. But if you can learn the tricks they use to come for you, in the guise of helping you, you’d not be victimized too often by this.
What are these tricks?
From my observations, there are different category of people with distinct tricks to grant you the sort of favor that robs you of your peace of mind.
Firstly, the naive ones outrightly sell themselves off when they grant you favors in return for another favor they need from you.
Secondly, the cunning ones or experts, however, come to you like a knight in shining armor. You’d almost believe all their antics to help you “without strings attached ”— except there’s more than a string attached. Steer clear from this category of people because it’d be hard to see right through their favors as a trap. One you’ll keep falling into and mentally enslaving away from.
They will mostly come to you when they know you’re vulnerable and won’t be able to resist. They usually don’t care much about you. They just want to feel useful while manipulating you. This type of person is bound to gaslight you if you attempted breaking away from them later on — that is if you tried becoming independent. And that’s the reason you must look (at what is up their sleeves) before leaping. Keep reading to find out how.
The last one is from the category of people who promise you favor upon favor and in the end, leave you in limbo. These kinds are emotionally deadly as they will give you reasons to believe them and their capability to help with all to no avail. Leaving you restless and confused. You see them, they appear capable but unable to do anything for you. What I like to refer to as “the more you look”.
What you must do if you encounter any one of these kinds of people is to reject their favor outrightly. You can already tell it’s not genuine, and that you might have to give away a whole lot more than you’d receive. Of which, many times, you might end up with empty promises, mental exasperation, mentally enslaved, and resentments instead of gratitude.
How to find out what is up their sleeves?
Ask yourself what kind of person he/she is before accepting their favor. Are they kind or just trying to manipulate your situation?
Ask yourself if you truly need to accept their favor to pull through or not. Or if it’s something you can make do on your own.
Ask yourself what the meaning of their favor is.
What do they stand to gain or lose? Do you need the favor in the first place? Because not all favors are needed as opposed to wanting.
When you can ascertain the type of person lending you a helping hand, what their motives or reasons are, then it becomes logical to want to either forge ahead or not. But beware of free lunch. Receiving unwarranted favors (based on answers from the Q&A above) can lead you to more trouble than ease. You must know if it’s something you worked directly or indirectly for the opportunity to elevate, or if it’s something coming free for nothing. Because rest assured that the latter is always the kind that robs you of your freedom.
Many favors can bring about godfathers and godmothers that weren’t necessarily planned or needed. This is where you see yourself indebted to somebody for the rest of your life. This isn’t bad except it feels like mental slavery (without the physical follower-ship). This explains one of the reasons it’s wise to get to the bottom of certain favors that come to you.
Unless you damn the consequences, then be ready to serve and surrender something more precious to you for a one-time gesture.
The other part of favor is the unintentional type.
This is mainly divine.
This sort of favor comes unexpectedly and triggers hearty feelings and gratitude. Unintentional favors tend to come from random strangers who were divinely placed to come to your aid and without any strings attached. This sort of favor, if anything, brings forth freedom than take it.
This is the type of favor we need to willingly accept. Because chances are, we’re getting rewarded in one way or another whether we sought after it or not. The type of favor that comes when we thought we didn’t want it but needed it. Hence, why we should embrace it wholeheartedly.
Manipulative people, on the other hand, will use every means to cage you in their pigeonhole with their favor. Most times they demand loyalty from you instead of earning it because they continue to lend you a helping hand or favor you — and snatch your freedom right under your nose. You, on the other hand, will feel gaslighted, bad, or crazy if you were giving in to the need to be “loyal” or will I say, enslaved as the case may be.
This is where we draw the line by clearly ascertaining what we want from life, how to go about it, how to seize the opportunities when they come up, and most importantly the type of people they come from.
Once a favor is received from an incredible source it taints your image as well. And if you don’t cut off that tie, it might entrap you further to a point of no return down-spiraling beyond the loss of freedom.
It’s simple but often tempting not to avoid unnecessary favors and free lunch as they always come so free. Especially when we are in dire situations.
But we can avert this through being self-aware to determine, first of all, who we are, our values, what we want, how to reach them, and from whom as well. And secondly, by paying attention to understand the kind of person the favor is coming from and the meaning of their favor. So that when opportunities that don’t tally present themselves, it’d be easier to excuse ourselves painstakingly without guilt or regrets. Hence, saving us many more years of freedom of acquiring the actual thing(s).
