Saying yes indeed, just like saying no, can be as hard. People often assume people-pleasers only find it difficult to say no and hence burn out from constantly doing things out of their own will. This is true but saying yes on several other occasions shares the same nightmare.
When you say yes to things, you’re being outright with the fact that you’re committing to something which may be difficult for you to retract from. Saying yes can be so resounding you find it hard to unsay or not carry out what you “promised”.
I was motivated to write about this piece while I was writing about ways to create and enforce boundaries as part of personal emotional therapy.
One of the difficult aspects of saying yes is people assuming that it always connotes an agreeable term. But the truth is, it’s not. It’s controversial using the word YES because you could be responding to the opposite effector of what you want unknowingly. Take for instance an abusive fellow; they gaslight you and ask if you truly “get” where they’re coming from. Unbeknownst to you, you respond with a yes — when all you knew was that they made “logical” sense to their gaslight tactics, not the abusive part.
Saying yes indeed to a no and reiterating it can be arduous mentally and emotionally. Simply due to the fact you have to repeat a yes to what you previously disagreed or agreed with that was hard for you in the first place.
There you go…
Saying yes is as hard as saying no for many reasons. Some of them are because it entails committing to your words by backing them with actions. Others include missing some blind spots and agreeing with the little you know and lastly, being put on the spot to reiterate your yes to something hard to decide in the first place.
So, while drawing your boundaries as a way to protect your peace of mind and care for yourself, be wary of the yes-es you say as well as saying no.
Thanks for taking the time to read.