Recently, I had an excruciatingly painful episode of depression, worse still, on my birthday. What I came to understand during this episode is that when in that situation, nothing matters anymore. I feel the total opposite of what I usually feel when not. I regret all the good feelings and gestures I once felt and showed, so that the pain makes more sense -and when I feel all better afterwards, I regret all I regretted during it.
Therefore, I came up with a coping mechanism in the form of a mantra, to use to overcome this feeling hopefully prior and after each episode while striving to eliminate it totally.
Say it, repeat.
I’ll end up regretting this during the painful episode later but for now, let it be known
That I love myself too much to succumb to any temptations to end my life untimely
That I have all it takes to be all I can be irrespective of what life currently feels like
I’ll end up regretting this during the painful episode later but for now, let it be known
That I cherish my family and loved ones regardless of how nonchalant they’ve been towards understanding what I go through or being there for me in ways that may reduce and soothe the triggers to these episodes
I’ll end up regretting this during the painful episode later but for now, let it be known
That I appreciate my close-knit friends who still see the good in me and adore it despite having hinted them on ceaseless occasions what my mental state can be
I’ll end up regretting this during the painful episode later but for now, let it be known
That I’m grateful for all the life experiences I’ve gone through knowing that it has woken me up from my slumber to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around me but that I possess the powers to conquer this with little in other’s hands.
I’ll end up regretting this during the painful episode later but for now, let it be known
That I’m appreciative of all life endowments and beauty marks derived mostly from all the painful and then some joyful moments.
I’ll end up regretting this during the painful episode later but for now, let it be known
That I’m glad I didn’t choose to pretend or run away from this but rather to use this medium to express myself and bare it all to others who may be in similar situations and help them understand that they’re not alone but with only a matter of time, and all will be well.
Say it now (whatever yours is), regret it later.
For more info about depressive episodes, their symptoms and coping mechanisms, click here
