Relationships Ought to be Fluid, Not Fixed
Many relationships operate under a rigid set of rules, creating an environment where certain expectations must be met, often making the relationship feel like a void to be filled rather than an experience to be enjoyed.
For example, societal norms suggest single mothers shouldn’t marry bachelors, or that men should provide while women nurture, etc.
Societal expectations can distort relationships, particularly regarding traditional gender roles. This introduces unnecessary pressure and unrealistic goals for each partner.
For instance, society often expects women to be less impulsive than men, suggesting that a calmer woman makes a thoughtful woman with better decisions.
Conversely, men may be allowed a broader range of impulsive behavior. This discrepancy undermines a woman’s confidence when she deviates from this expectation, affecting the overall dynamic of the relationship.
A healthy relationship should flow naturally; it should be a safe space for individuals to explore their identities while respecting each other’s boundaries. It should not feel suffocating when you realize you’re not sticking rigidly to societal rules.
Who created these rules, anyway?
While boundaries are important, they should be flexible, allowing for personal growth and adaptation.
A meaningful relationship should be adaptable, and free from the constraints imposed by societal norms. It should reflect your values and bring out the best in both partners, regardless of others’ opinions.
A relationship should not be merely tolerated but celebrated. It must also not condone harmful behaviors, such as domestic violence; it should stand against what needs to be challenged.
A relationship should never feel like a burden or place undue pressure on one gender to fulfill specific roles.
Responsibilities should be shared and interchangeable between partners, which not only alleviates pressure but also revitalizes the dynamic.
For instance, a man who the society feels he must provide but is not allowed to express love is just as problematic as one who fails to uphold his responsibilities as agreed with his partner.
Similarly, a woman who withdraws from household contributions simply because of her gender is neglecting her duties based on the agreement with her partner.
Another common pitfall is when one partner expects their significant other to mirror the behavior of their parents — this, too, is misguided and can lead to frustration.
I want a fulfilling relationship that reflects my values — one that enriches both me and my partner, free from external expectations. What some may consider unconventional could very well enhance a relationship if both partners embrace those unique aspects.
In a nutshell:
Different people have varied ways of giving and receiving love, and this should be respected.
Relationships should be free from competition or the silent pressure of gendered expectations. Both partners must consent to the nature of their relationship and not let external norms dictate its course.
Challenges arise when we allow the dynamics of others’ relationships, even those of loved ones, to influence our own.
Standards for love should be established between partners, minimizing outside influences.
Love should not be imposed; it should be freely given and received based on each partner’s preferences.
Thank you for taking the time to read.
