Realness versus Reality
Where do we draw the line?
There are variations in the way we behave or act towards certain experiences in our lives, in certain places, and to certain people too.
As we all know, we can’t all be the same way we’d be in our workplaces, at home, nor speak in the same manner we would our boss, to our spouses.
These variations are what allows adaptation to occur and amplifies how diverse we are as a people.
But when does realness come into the picture?
Realness is simply being able to be you and do you devoid of any environment or circumstance.
Realness is determining at that point, in that time, the best way to respond to a question you’ve been asked or dealing with a situation you find yourself in, the raw way possible — and not based on what your spouse would have wanted, nor your brother, or your friend.
It is speaking, responding, and thinking you — thus, reacting as you — this is realness.
Our reality on the other hand is acting similarly but in a more filtered manner. A manner where you input bits and pieces of the real you versus reality.
The reality in this sense requires you to shuttle between you and what it is. When you carefully evaluate it, it’s almost always a deviation from who you truly are.
That’s why pretense, impropriety, and being fake are the new normal.
This is where being politically correct, or not, comes into play — when you‘re supposed to just absorb the truth of the matter and act according to it — always.
This is when you find yourself speaking in tongues over something you’re meant to be straight-on-truthful and explicit over.
Reality serves as the platform where you watch your tongue, your thoughts, and behavior — almost in a way that prevents you from being the real you.
This is when you act prim and proper when the first thing you really want to do is shut down the whole building in pandemonium — when you have to watch your actions in the midst of your colleagues in order not to appear a novice — or when you give off a faux-pas vibe to your spouse so that they don’t take you for granted.
All for what?
Where do we draw the line?
I believe that you can’t fully be real without implementing what reality wants from you, many times than not.
That there’s time for everything.
There’s time to be real (nothing like really real), and time to face reality.
If you’re lucky, you’ll get to combine both most often, and scale through life seamlessly.
But if you’re like me that battles to balance both, this article is for you.
There are many situations that require you to be your real self and detrimental when you involve more of the reality to it. This is typically when you want to get into a relationship with someone who has claimed or you claim to love. Realness is what’s needed.
There are other situations that also require you to face reality more and draw a bit of realness to it. A typical example is when you’re searching for a job. As a versatile job hunter, I’ve come to realize that searching for a job and acquiring it down to the T, requires a variation of who you are. You’re dynamic in your application letter and CVs, claiming most things you are not, in the bid to getting the offer. Interviews are not exempted — as you’re also required to be poised and confident in ways you never even believed you had the tendency to. In this case, the reality is what’s needed.
If we can learn to ascertain what is real and what reality is, we can easily navigate through both to live the life we truly want.
If we can understand that both can be juxtaposed, but also very similar in the same sense, we can learn to swing that pendulum easily when each of them calls for it.
There’s time to be real and in several places, people or situations that need it, and there’s time to give only a variation of the real you, again, in certain places, to certain people, and in certain situations.
It’s left for you to pay close attention to yourself and the surrounding environment to observe what aspect is needed and thus activate it.
Don’t be real when you are meant to face reality and don’t pretend when you need to be real. That is, don’t resist reality and call it being real and don’t resist being yourself and call it a reality.
There’s a soft blend to it.
Mixing, bombarding, or jam-packing both isn’t where wisdom lies. But rather, it’s about making a choice based on what is truly needed and going with it, believing that there’s no bad or good decision, just different outcomes to anticipate either way.
Be wise. Be you. Be real. Face reality — — — — — — at their different calling times.