Our Reactions Depict Our Realities
Have you heard that 10 percent is life happenings and 90 percent how you react to it?
Our reaction is everything. Except for everything, not so positive.
The manner at which we react to things says a lot about how we perceive our reality. Simply because if the sum of the causal factor could warrant such amount of energy in reacting, then it must be how you realized something to be. Right?
Realize = the reality right?
Let me make this simpler with a personal story.
While growing up, I had this issue with my parents, especially my mother for always overreacting to our misdemeanors. The way I always put it to her was in the form of a question: for example, why do you shout at me so badly over a fallen cup as though I broke it?
The exaggeration of her emotions drove me nuts. At some point, I almost saw what she was seeing, which wasn’t what it was.
Strong reactions to things can give off a perception of realities that aren’t really true. But it creates its own reality in the making.
So while I despise getting shouted on for a minor mistake by my mother, it equally implanted a overly self-critical habit in me that makes it hard to overlook minor mistakes up until adulthood.
This reaction, which was from a false reality, ended up creating a loop of reactions later on in my life that was unhealthy if I must say.
It’s important to gauge the way we react to things as that gives others the impression of how things are really for us- even though it might not be exact. But not only because of this. Our reactions feed our brains with what triggered it, what triggers it, and somewhat makes it a normal thing even if it’s not healthy for our growth.
You must mind our reactions to things because unaware to you, it may be sabotaging your ability to overcome certain challenges in your life that need an otherwise approach. For example: when you attend a job interview and react brashly to a critical comment an interviewer made to you as opposed to either ignoring them or replying assertively to it.
This habit of managing our reactions to things is hard to do in practice, but not impossible. It just depends on how you want to see yourself moving forward.
Would you rather react in an autopilot mode over several issues you’re currently facing or try to stay calm and realize what the reality of things truly is before deciphering your next move?
Because chances are, when we react without thinking, it’s an overreaction.
Overreacting always bears its consequences and forces the solitude/ silent moment upon those who tried evading them antithetically to those who naturally geared toward them.
When you reply emotional disturbance with stonewalling you’re creating another reality of a quiet pain absorber even when you might not be.
As you reply disappointment with heavy self-judgments, you are saying that you don’t trust yourself or the situation to be alleviated.
If you always reply pain with more pain, anguish, shame, self-criticism, you’re showing the reality that you don’t love yourself (enough).
So, quit reacting to things. Instead take a deep breath, as if you’re a novice or a visitor to the predicament, and approach it from an angle that befits you are while bringing you peace. As the peace of mind is a sign you’re tackling things the right way and maintaining the reality as is.
In other words, perceptions fluctuate but the reality of things remains static. Our reaction tells others what type of perception we have over some realities. Our reactions tend to create false realities different or similar to the precursor which may end up producing more damaging consequences than we bargained for.
This calls for the need for a mindful, calm approach to things to avoid these growth and developmental-related common issues.
Stop reacting and start acting.
