Lazy Love

Don’t settle for less

Comet N.
3 min readOct 28, 2023

Everyone has their love language. This love language is innately what determines who you entangle yourself with. Although these love languages may not be the same for both parties in a relationship, they should at least coincide — be known, understood, and shown by the involved parties frequently. But if not, love languages differ in a way that can make two people “in love” highly incompatible- and this may create an avenue for the lazy love to creep in.

Lazy love describes a love that is not fully there. A love that may be present and wants to give, but does not. It is a conditional and selfish love that brings down the counterpart. It consumes a relationship. A person with lazy love has time to think and decide when to infuse it in a relationship, as opposed to showing it naturally.

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Just like lazy people, it’s not that they are incapable, it’s that they are unwilling to put in the energy (the right amount) to get a job done. That’s how lazy love is expressed as well.

A lot of things can give rise to a lazy kind of love. One could be outright incompatibility, second, loss of interest at some point in the relationship, and third, external or internal stress or pressures from the relationship. If you’ve ascertained that you’re giving your best to a relationship that isn’t reciprocating the type of efforts you put into it, or does conditionally, then it’s time to reevaluate your stance in their life. You may be receiving a lazy love. A situation where the bare minimum of love is given to you instead of nothing. Half better than none kind of love.

Therefore if it starts to feel like your type of love is getting watered down or replaced with the lazy kind of love, it’s time to make a serious decision moving forward.

As such, do not be deceived or settle for less. When it comes to a relationship, aside from love, other things fuel it. Those things are often expressed with love in mind — such as honesty, commitment, loyalty, and understanding ceaselessly. For example, you cannot understand what you don’t have an interest in or are incompatible with. In the case of a relationship, the person you claim to love, or want to commit with. Therefore if you notice one or two of these essential traits missing, it might be gearing toward a lazy kind of love which may describe a loss of interest from a significant other or outright selfishness.

A situation where the bare minimum of love is given to you instead of nothing. Half is better than none scenario.

An example would be: knowing your love language is words of affirmation but being with a partner who initiates his love through acts of service. As much as you’d appreciate that difference, it may prove not so easy to cope with as time goes on. As you crave those words that you’re likely never to get, slowly, the lazy love sets in in the form of a pretentious fulfillment of your love language. In this case, it’s okay to admit that you both aren’t compatible and nullify things. Rather than keep it going because the downsides are emotionally exhausting.

The downsides to receiving lazy love from the person you’re with are: it’s stressful to deal with mentally and emotionally as you’d imagine, lazy love breeds resentments, it gives off an indifferent attitude that permeates a relationship negatively leaving you questioning your worthiness, the worst at times, is that it gets to your head. It makes you question your sanity. As you might have already concluded love is love — whereas that’s not always the case. You deserve a well-rounded love suitable for your type, not a mediocre, unawaken, lazy kind of love. You need a love that speaks to your spirit and being.

There is love and there’s lazy love.

Thanks for choosing the time to read



Comet N.

A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.