One of the first nudges I got when I started writing or welcoming the passion of writing, was to highlight the impact of unintentional negligence onto kids by African parents. There are no affiliates to this yet considering it was turned down from being published due to its controversial nature.
Yes, when the word negligence is mentioned, it elicits a controversy with it.
The person accused feels deeply offended, and the victim equally feels the pain. Everyone would react to such literal terms. But it’s real, and true that intentional negligence does exist as well.
This explains in a situation where the perpetrator, I’d like to call them, intentionally neglects their duties towards others or as is.
This mostly occurs in relationships, therefore I’d like to use it in that context for further explanations.
When it comes to both parties in a relationship, specific roles, and responsibilities are expected of each of them. A man in a typical heterosexual relationship, for instance, is expected to protect and provide for his significant other, whereas a woman is expected to provide nurturing. As much as these roles can be interchangeable, they remain strongly specific gender-wise.
Intentional negligence is almost like a permitted route or an agreement if you like, between two parties to either forgo entirely these responsibilities or pause them for a while due to one reason or the other. This can be very damaging, selfish, and narcissistic (I tried to avoid postulating this word here) in nature even, to hold back from giving your full self or put in as much effort as you’re meant to in a relationship between you and your partner as much as they seek them — especially if they do.
Through intentional negligence, an intentional void is created which can solicit unintentional habits, or behavior to fill them.
That’s why we must beware of intentional negligence or agreement in any relationship before diving heart or head first. We want to make sure there are no excuses for holding back the warmth, love, care, and availability which ought to be consistent with a thriving relationship as possible. We want to hold ourselves accountable for what we accepted from our significant others when the chips are down.
Final words:
It’s easy to spot negligence when it’s meted against us or others. It’s even easier to excuse such behavior under the guise of being unintentional, for instance, having some parents who were not there for their children the way they were meant to be. But what’s even more inexcusable, is going through all of that, and allowing yourself to pass through an intentional neglectful painful traumatic relationship — which may be in a situation where you’re asked to pause your life, belief, needs, desires, or wants for the sake of the other person. A partner who knew how detrimental it would be in the first place not to fulfill their roles to the core. This is when you sit down and re-examine the what your priorities are and how you view your self-love meter. It’s all about consistency, not necessarily perfectionism.
#Self, #parenting, #relationship #mental health
Thanks for taking the time to read
