I’ll Guide You On How To Advice Me
Seeking and receiving advice remains very critical in developing oneself. It helps to guide you and redirect you back when you’re going the wrong way. It aids you to weigh your options before decision making.
But wrong advice could be worse than not seeking any. It’ll not only misdirect you but it’ll also cause you to stop hoping if care is not taken. That’s why it’s important to mind whom you seek advice from and what you seek advice for because when you seek advice from someone who already doesn’t care about you or isn’t willing to pay any attention to better understand your situation first, you’ll be misguided.
Also, when an important decision making that requires a solo consultation (from you to you) gets taken to another person, it may create more confusion and hence, delay and “misdirection”?. Therefore, be careful when next you stop by at that friend’s place to share your personal love story full of ups and downs or that parents' house to discuss your plans on deciding whether to move out of town or leave your job permanently because guess what, you know better.
When next you perceive the thoughts that you’re being misled to “not hope” due to seeking advice from someone you trusted so much, note it down in your heart, mark it somewhere. Monitor others’ behaviors or patterns of advice and check what could be wrong — and if it’s inevitable soliciting advice from them, in the case of a parent/spouse, then guide them on how to advise you.
How do you do this?
Be prepared on what to receive from them even before you’ve taken the issue to them. Maybe your dad would usually be harsh with words at first before coming to terms with the issue at hand, maybe your friend may like to involve your family members when you open up to them. Open your ears wide but minimize the inflow of words to your heart. Create an automatic filter, hear some and listen to some (the vital ones).
When you perceive that the person is beginning to take advantage of the situation or your vulnerability through the use of abusive/judgemental words, ask them to stop. Guide them through reflective listening by repeating their words back to them in a more respectful and better method to show them what you’ve understood by what they said. Remember to stay mindful and open-minded because they guide you in order to guide the advisor.
Leave that conversation feeling replenished but never exhausted if you must inevitably return back to the said person for more advice in the future.
