What Being Kind Entails
You have never really lived until you’ve done something for someone who can never repay you~ John Bunyan
Kindness isn’t overrated contrary to what some may think. It is one of the biggest virtues in the Universe. Talking about kindness gives me the chills as I’m not sure I’m “fit” enough to talk about it. Also because I wasn’t taught by anyone how important it was and how to show it. But I’ve been shown kindness one too many times unrealized. And I know for sure, that it is better to be kind than to be nice.
Kindness is real, niceness is a farce. With kindness, you’re putting yourself in another person’s shoes and exhibiting emotions and gestures that’d make their lives livable. Kindness comes with the mindset of seeing someone else as a real human being and extending care to them as they’d like to themself.
But kindness is a big deal. Unlike niceness, it always pertains to doing somewhat difficult selfless things for other people including strangers. Difficult, because, as time goes by, it becomes harder to trust or be there for anyone. Yet, kindness prevails.
Sometime last year, I witnessed genuine kindness in the hands of a total stranger who offered to pay for my Uber ride when I was stranded (sim card out of service) with my baby in a foreign country. It still reverberates within me each time I think of it.
Kind gestures do not require grandiose capturing. It’s often something you do from the depth of your heart; with empathy, selflessness, humility, intentionality, and understanding.
Simple ways of showing kindness could be relieving people of weightlifting, giving a warm hug to someone distressed, being a listening ear, helping stranded people cover their groceries or rides, and the list goes on. Kindness is simple, but not so simple as formerly mentioned.
But some other traits of kindness are further delved into below:
To be kind is to be humane, first
We’re all warm-blooded animals for a reason. We were created with blood flowing through our veins and as such makes us capable of feeling one another’s pain. We were born to be happy for others. We were formed in a way that allows us to make this world more lively for the next person. It all changes during our upbringing. One thing or another obstructs that flow and creates instead, a whole new you in the bid to survive.
To be kind, you need to be compassionate
If you don’t learn the art of compassion, you can’t show kindness in its most real form. Compassion is the emotion that requires you to feel others’ feelings and emotions. It’s like a detector of moods and emotions.
To be kind, you need to ascertain what others are feeling or how they’re feeling to be able to help them out. By helping them out based on this, you’re showing real kindness.
Kindness requires that you be self-aware
I know this is counterintuitive considering that I’m buttressing how to be kind to others. But the truth is, to be kind to others you need to be aware of who you are. How do you feel? What emotions run through you? And how do you handle them? It’s only when you’re aware of who you are, that you can determine how to show kindness to others. Because then, you’d understand that it starts with you. How you communicate to and with yourself is paramount in shaping how you are going to be there for others.
But what if I told you that you’re still the same humane person? The kind who still has it in them to look out for one another. To make the other person’s life a bit more comfortable, less painful, more in check, through your humane powers? What if?.
Therefore, I urge you to search within and discover what stopped you, to find a way to loosen up a bit and show kindness to the next person. Because it is through giving that we receive. Sometimes that’s the only way some of us can receive.
To be kind requires you to be free
Be free to give, be free to receive, and be free to be. If you don’t exercise the freedom to be, the willpower to be there for others would equally be affected. You have to learn how to be free enough to be there for others. That freedom clears your mind and improves your awareness as stated earlier, to reach out to others. It also permits you to do whatever you like that comes to your mind while showing kindness. If you’re not free, you’re bound to miss the chance or person(s) you ought to be helping out.
Freedom helps in another way that it prevents you from selecting who to help or not because, at that point, you’re listening to your intuition.
Kindness needs you to have an abundance mentality
It is only when you see yourself as a whole, full, and capable that you’ll be able to dish out from it. No matter how kind you want to be, you can’t give from an empty place. The problem now is, that you might not be empty but you may be seeing yourself as such. In which case, kindness may be far off your radar. But to show kindness to people you need to understand that you already have what it takes to do so. Unless it’s something specific that you’re lacking at the moment. If that’s the case, then that’s the point of showing kindness. It doesn’t always need you to have it all. People share their last cards with others just to save them. I understand everybody is not the same, but the point is that you shouldn’t wait until you’ve built a mansion to help someone else with buying a brick. The little you have and the little you give out goes a long way to somebody who has nothing. And that gesture starts with having an abundant mentality.
Kindness is simple in words, but hard to show. Especially in such a difficult time when people are trying to survive first. The majority of the people today are only looking out for themselves and their loved ones. Even though it’s imperative to put yourself first, it is necessary to still look out for others whichever we can from time to time.
Show some empathy, sympathy, awareness, humanity, freedom, and abundance by extending a hand to the next person. At the end of the day, we’re all fighting the same cause — to be healthy, loved, cared for, survive, live well, and depart the world comfortably. Make it worthwhile for the people around you, people you meet, and for yourself as well. Show yourself some kindness for not knowing how to all this while and extend that gesture when needed.
Thanks for reading.
