How Inconsistency Can Exacerbate Bipolar Disorder
Indirect, unofficial letter to those who are in a well-meaning relationship/friendship with people with BD
The first time I heard about bipolar disorder was from a series called Rich Kids of Beverly Hills. Before then, I just remember always being mocked as the girl who always used to say she wasn’t in the “mood” for almost everything. Little did I know that I may have been on that spectrum of the disorder. And little do I still know about bipolar disorder.
This piece isn’t necessarily about buttressing the deep scientific aspects or definitions of bipolar disorder, but more of using my personal experience to highlight fairly major disadvantageous attitude people portray toward anyone who’s been either medically diagnosed with it or feeling the comprehensive symptoms highlighted about it.
And that is the fact (based on personal experience) that inconsistency brings out the worst in people who suffer from bipolar disorder. I mean, think about it, this illness is all about dealing with two different aspects of emotions in their extremities. So, being inconsistent with your words or actions emotionally toward a person with this illness only exacerbates their symptoms.
Call it 101 advice on how to tend to these extremely vulnerable sets of people, but learning to stick to a particular habit, routine, or character that is helpful of course, more often than not, goes a very long way to soothing the racing hearts of these kinds of people.
For some of them like me, we like to show people all we’re made of. We like to give them all we’ve got. We enjoy being open books to be read and understood-emphatically speaking. Because understanding us makes it easier to be with us. It makes it smoother to deal with our excesses, even though we’ll be extremely sorry for them later on. Especially toward the very loving ones toward us. So, pardon us, when we seek so hard for this. It helps make us feel less triggered and more willing to do better with you in our relationships.
All we seek is to be heard, seen, and attended to similarly with more positive reinforcements and upgrades and we won’t always have to exhibit extreme behaviors to either appreciate or diss you. Know in our hearts of hearts, we are already beating ourselves up for our slip-ups. Therefore, you needn’t be so brash in your reactions toward us. Thinking that it’s the kind of brush-up discipline we need — maybe deserve, yes.
People who suffer from BD are already going through a lot emotionally trying to balance out their positive and negative emotions. Sometimes we confuse both and feel even more intense pain from the undecipherable. Make it easier on them, especially the medically diagnosed ones, by maintaining a strong sense of consistency in your love, warmth, and embrace toward them. And you would never have to witness some of the strongest reactions of either or both sides of emotions — that will only end up exasperating you all involved in the relationship.
From a non-medically diagnosed, but well-assured Bipolar person, who tends to never be in the mood,
Comet.
