Like Awodeji Awosika rightfully said, if you want to determine what path to take but you’re unsure, go back to what you really enjoyed doing as a kid. He couldn’t be more right. My subconscious mind must have been ruminating along these lines prior to delving into writing as I got to actively learn about this from him hitherto to publishing my write-ups on medium.
Yes!- “if you want to find out what route to take whenever everything seems to be failing, or you are unsure, think back in time and find out what you really enjoyed doing as a kid” the answer is there.
Before I go ahead and list all the confirmatory exercises or events that will help you verify if this “newly” found path is for you, I’ll like to personally (and evidently) explain how I knew writing is for me.
As you may or may not already know (from my previous posts), I was bullied in high school. Till date, I’ve not taken out time to find out the meaning of bully is but I sure know I passed through all the relative experiences other bullied people who have researched and spoken about it did and one thing I fixated about being bullied is that it caused me to “lose my voice” (metaphorically).
You get ill-treated and yet are unable to confront it, express it nor report it. You only get to suppress it and deal with it silently- that was me. I chose letter writing as a means of emancipation from the horror of standing face to face with my bully to either apologize (for nothing) or in most recent times use of text messaging to express my hurt rather than put a phone call through or request to meet.
Being bullied made me feel insignificant so much that I voluntarily never wanted to be seen or be associated with- leading me to become the extremely shy person I am and the urge to be non-existent. As a result, I opted to be a kiss-ass instead to get people to like me and make my life a little bearable. In the bid to achieve this, I began doing things I thought others would love and so I started composing love poems for some of my classmates who were in a relationship both in local dialect and English, short imaginary stories about couples just to make them happy and like me. Fantasies, wild imaginations and my painful experience served as muse to accomplishing this.
These steered the way to how my writing skills was born. But, the other part of the question was- how did I know writing was for me?
As aforementioned, I began writing(mostly unpublished) long before reversing back to my childhood memory lane to figure out what I had interest in to pursue. As confirmatory as this statement is, I will now list what led me to know this beforehand.
Letting the subconscious mind make way
I’ll be lying if I claimed to practice or knew what mindfulness was all about not until recently when I began reading and writing on Medium. It’d be correct to say that my subconscious mind may have wandered to the times during my childhood/high school days and actively prompted me to begin writing now- mostly whenever I was in pain, feeling ashamed, guilty and afraid and so on and so forth. How come you may ask but the answer is I don’t know.
Maybe it had something to do with destiny or luck if you believe in that- or the mere fact that I had lots of quiet and lonely times whilst growing up (introvert). It’s a lot of maybes that I can’t pinpoint. But bearing in mind what mindfulness is all about now, it was most likely the powerful tool that played a huge role during those quiet times, in helping me ascertain writing is for me. Therefore, letting your subconscious mind wander could assist in giving you an active vision of what it could be you ought to be engaged in- or your conscious state (that is, mindfulness).
Curiousity
At some point, I developed the curiosity to understand why I implored typing and texting as methods to communicate and express my feelings and why they worked so magically.
I’ve previously posted a related topic about the importance of curiosity. It’s the same principles I applied here- Curiosity killed the cat, but the only way not to incur complacency is to let it kill ignorance. I like this, however, Harry Lorayne proclaimed it better when he said: “Curiosity kills the cat, but where human beings are concerned, the only thing a healthy curiosity can kill, is ignorance”.
I discovered that whenever I was in pain over anything pertaining to emotional hurt, spiritual dissatisfaction, or experiencing any form of delay with reaching a milestone in my life, I always felt the urge to write about it and anything else. I equally found out that I hide behind the phone a lot to type or text out any confrontations that I may have to do or reply to them. I was very good at doing this to the point my siblings always sought after me to help them compose break up messages. At one point, I developed the curiosity to understand why I implored typing and texting as methods to communicate and express my feelings and why they worked so magically.
I also discovered I always had great delight writing on a piece of paper first before typing them up- even up till this moment with this post. I asked myself all the necessary “why” questions. For instance, why do I write when I’m down, why do I write down close to 3–4 pages on a notebook in one sitting without losing the energy and momentum. Why do I type/text so well compared to if I was face to face with the recipient. These “whys” triggered my curiosity which led me to kill the ignorance and complacency and understand that it’s something I genuinely enjoy doing regardless. So, from time to time, allow yourself to get curious with things that you do especially consistently:persistently (like a hobby) and observe how it makes you feel when you are in action and afterwards despite the cons, and maybe, just maybe that’s where the answers to your questions lie.
Courage
Up to this time, I can’t believe that I’ve had the “impetus” to put up any form of write-up on Medium. Nevertheless, I’m learning to break away from shyness, socialize more and generally improve myself. To do these, I’ve had to confront some of my past and heal from it and allow it to serve as an advantage to making my future better.
But I’m still vulnerable
Hitting the “Publish” key on Medium terrifies me but nevertheless, I do it. I do so not because I feel “all set” to, or because I’m the most courageous or the best writer, but because it is high time. I have read a lot past couple of months from many talented writers here and other places enough to encourage me to bring all my ideas and quota to fruition not minding the fear of vulnerability. What is the point of knowledge without action? As I once read, once you pronounce yourself a writer or any other title for that matter, for which you haven’t actually attempted fulfilling the responsibilities, the brain has a way of getting satisfied with that alone without materialization. Could this be delusion then? I can’t say.
But what I will tell you is that courage starts from within, be your own cheerleader. You’ve probably before now found out that you have content, that you are talented but have been hiding away behind closed doors with many unpublished articles- well now is the time to give yourself some pep talk and bring those great ideas to fruition. Be a little afraid because “in order to be brave, you’ve got to be a little scared”- Will Sawyer in Skyscraper. No one’s is perfect, maybe a little better than you currently are but you are bound to be as good if you put in the work, publish it and grow from it not run.
The need to increase or step-up your game
Once more, I reiterate back to what I refer to as Awodeji Awosika’s catchphrase “double down”. Once you find out what you are good at and have had the courage to turn it into “your thing”, the next step is look for ways to improve on it. Build more relative skills to that hobby/interest/work or alternative ways to expand on it. This is what I reckon the writer/author meant by double down. Just because writing, singing or whatever it is your interest is, is something you have passion for, doesn’t make it any easier or less competitive. As some points, you’d have to step up your game.
How do you do that?
- Accepting that you are at the beginners level and will require a lot of support.
- Being curious as to what ways to go about getting support and becoming better. Many writers have suggested hiring an editor, becoming friends or in contact with your role models/favorite writers, getting some apps that will help edit and correct your grammar such as Grammarly and so on and so forth. I personally recommend reading some posts on start-up publication sites as well to get some ideas.
- Whatever the case, DO something. I’m a work in progress, I remain open-minded and constantly try my best to expand my knowledge, widen my horizon to determine ways I could “double down” not only to do with writing but communications in general. I google out every single confusing or strange word I come across when I read and try to make sense of its correlation to the sentence it was found in and I’m not ashamed to say that. I write in the simplest way possible (prose) but that doesn’t stop me from learning bigger words (with metrical structure) for my personal vocabulary use/knowledge.
Do something to improve and keep improving
What am I trying to say
Writing is what you make of it- likewise whatever it is you have interest in. But in order to figure it all out in the first place, tear a page or two from Awodeji Awosika’s book and let yourself be taken back to the times you were a kid and learn what you enjoyed doing and begin to do it. It doesn’t end there, encourage yourself always to be uncomfortable with “just” knowing and start being curious for more.
Let that curiosity propel you to also accepting your capabilities with some of the answers you get afterward and develop some confidence/courage to publish your work so that the world will be blessed by your handiwork no matter how little.
Then, see the need to constantly improve your work; that is, double down on it.
Like Michael Thompson said, “Edit every single word as though it were money”.
I’m learning to adhere to all these and improve; simply because I found what I enjoy doing and I enjoy what I do. It’s worth it. What about you?
