Many times as a human you may encounter roadblocks in your growth journey. Excruciating mistakes, which make you want to give up on yourself. Misery from not adhering to your intuition. Dissonance from constantly doing things that don’t align with your person. When these situations arise, you give up on yourself. You start bashing yourself unnecessarily for not knowing any better, for choosing to continue doing what you “know” hurts you.
But what if you didn’t know? What if you’re being too hard on yourself for nothing?
One thing you must know is that as humans we are overly complex. Nothing you do will always be in a straight line until the end. There will be stones and corners which would try to deviate you. But pushing on is what defines the journey. That is what makes it look easy. As complex in nature as we are, it’s okay to forgive yourself knowing that it’s out of your control to keep things moving the way you’d like them to — unperturbed. Because it’s highly unobtainable.
As humans, we’re under the control of a greater force. We’re an entity to behold yes, a force to reckon (whether you want to believe it or not), yes. Therefore, recognizing that many things to do with us and the earth are really out of our control will enable you to calm your nerves and forgive yourself more when things spiral out of control for no good reason.
Our natural state of being requires that we can be or do anything we put our minds to. But while growing up, we heard otherwise from the people around us. They made us believe we have to grind and fight hard to achieve whatever we want. Sometimes they make you feel like you’re obsolete. Sometimes they make you feel like you’re undeserving of great things even when they befall you. This is a sign to use to forgive yourself often. For believing all they told you. And for encountering several painful setbacks as a result. Forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for making poor choices and decisions and dealing with their nasty consequences. What you should know about choices and decisions is that they never come easy anyway. You’re constantly on a grind, therefore limited time might pose itself more often making it hard to make better decisions. Another thing you must know is that there are no good or bad decisions, just consequences for whichever path you go.
Forgive yourself for not listening to your intuition.
When we are disoriented from the noise of the world and bearing a heavy cross in our minds, oftentimes it could distract us from paying attention to our inner minds. When this happens, it reveals itself in the form of regret. Like my therapist once said, regret abounds from thinking there’s a standard, but there’s none. All you can do really is trial and error until you get it right. Learning from the mistakes of not obeying your intuition will ultimately make you do so in the future. All you have to do is calm down. Stop underrating your prowess and listen. Listen.
Forgive your slip-ups. The bad relationship you got into. The bad habits you adopted. The aloofness you displayed all the while. Making mistakes isn’t the end of it all. You can course-correct now.
Forgive yourself for not knowing any better or for now only realizing you’ve been unnecessarily berating of yourself. You’re always trying your best. And even though your best, in retrospect might not be good enough, at least you’re watching out for yourself in the slightest way possible. Which counts in so many ways. You can’t know it all. All you have to do is exercise the knowledge you have now of what’s better.
Stop treating yourself with scorn, and learn to embrace yourself, both the good and the bad. It’s hard to do, but think about it, how else do you win if not by joining hands with yourself? If you can’t even look at yourself how do you appreciate others looking at you?
I’m here to tell you that you’re capable, adorable, and important to the world. Stop dwelling on your mistakes and grave confusion abruptly. Sometimes devising a way out of something can be the very thing that keeps you in the rut. Just rise already. Like a Phoenix. Say no to all you initially said yes to you wish to correct and move on.
Let your moving forward logo be: I know where I’m coming from and I don’t want to return there ever again. I know the pain, I know the heartache, I know the suffering, and I can’t jeopardize my peace and self for any of the things that put me there again.
Remember: life is hard. It’s meant to put you on the pedestal of constantly working hard and proving yourself. Don’t let it get to you. Heal for your own sake. You’re never really alone you know. There are people out there that will love, embrace and appreciate your being, no matter what you think you may have passed through. That’s the beauty of a whole universe.
Stay strong, or take it slowly as and when due. And when all this is over, you’ll marvel at your existence and the mark you’ve left already in the world.
Forgive yourself as often as possible. That’s all it takes.
Thanks for reading.