For Those Who Have Never Celebrated Nor Been Celebrated Since They Became Adults
Christmas special:
By Comet N.
Christmas is the most celebrated holiday of our time which makes this season a super festive one with lots of big events, mini get-togethers, and parties. It’s such an exciting season to meet and greet family and friends and/or generally be in a happy mood.
But for many, just being excited and wishing this festive period away isn’t enough any longer for them. They want more. They demand more from themselves but unfortunately, fall flat on their faces over and over again with not knowing how to be, to do it— or celebrate.
One of the saddest things that could be for a full-grown adult is never been celebrated or celebrating anything themselves. From personal occasions such as birthdays, get-togethers, Christmas parties, Halloween parties, to formal events such as graduation parties, housewarming, a wedding, or others alike. It is sad because the order of the day (social media and co) has made it look like if you aren’t being invited to something, then something should be inviting you. To keep you in the loop of things, of events, as though you’d go extinct if you didn’t belong.
During this festive period, it can be exceptionally harder to deal with not having anyone or anything to celebrate with. You feel like a total failure. All you look forward to doing is simply breathing it out during the day and praying that the new year comes as fast it can and the buzz to die down.
As much as breathing through it is enough to get you through, you need more “pat on the back” words that might help as well.
You’re not weird, a failure, or aloof
Whatever you term it or call yourself as a result of your loneliness or aloneness during times like this, or if you’ve never been celebrated or celebrated anything tangible yourself since you became an adult, please stop it. You’re not any of those things.
People are born differently and so there are many ways to do the same thing. Some people prefer to be celebrated and celebrate things, whereas others do not. Some people love to celebrate but more intimately and quietly than others, whereas others prefer the loud, decorative, wine-popping events.
And while the sounds from others celebrating loud might encroach your mind to make you think you’re doing less, you need to remind yourself of your personality. Your personality says a lot about how you cut your coat according to your size, how you love to celebrate little, how you love not to be celebrated or celebrate things as such.
You might be lacking people and that’s okay too
One of the biggest things on the list to consider when someone wants to celebrate something is having the people for it. And while it might be depressing to feel like you’ve got the place, time, energy and funds to hold an event but not holding one due to lack of people, or not getting invited for the same reason, it’s still okay to own up to this and deal with it well.
The reason being: you might just be lacking the right kind of people anyway. What’s the point of needing to celebrate something personal and inviting people who don’t know you or care about you to them? To show off or to enjoy your time with them?
When you want to get downcast over lacking the people to celebrate with or be celebrated by, ask yourself if you need any/every one or somebody.
You are not a pretender
You’d rather not only have the right kind of people to celebrate with but also genuinely enjoy yourself whenever you’re on any occasion with them — whether as an invitee or as a guest. You prefer to be there for them rather than expect something in return by them gracing your events. You’re unpretentious and not carried away by the favors you’re doing others and wish them well whether they return the favor or not.
This could explain why there are more of your kind gracing your events (although small) or why you’d rather not bother if they weren’t as genuine as you.
And that’s fine too.
You might be lacking the stance and that’s fine
You might have the right kind of people, some people, but lack the stance or courage to invite people over. This is for people who have ascertained they love having people over but don’t know how to go about it. You can start small. Birthdays, little get-togethers like baptism lunch, game night, pajama party, anything that sets the tone to strengthening your social skills and cues — for when you possibly want to go big with things.
Be sure to also attend to others’ gatherings and honor their invitation as that promotes ideas on how to celebrate others and be celebrated as well when it’s your turn. But for the mere sake of being there for them as opposed to keeping a score for the favor to be returned.
But make sure it’s on your terms and you’re not being coerced by others’ opinions or lifestyle to do something you’re not feeling.
No celebration celebration
Some people prefer to celebrate by not celebrating at all. They prefer to celebrate others by enjoying how they celebrate theirs — with or without gracing their occasions or parties.
When I was abroad(UK), I didn’t have anyone I would celebrate any events with. During festive periods like this, I’d relish the season by merely going out to watch the decorations on the streets, take pictures, smiling sheepishly all day. Or I’d genuinely enjoy watching other families come together to celebrate.
It brought me a kind of joy for the season and kept me going.
If that’s your style, embrace it. It’s another way to celebrate — not celebrating.
Celebrations are always worth it. It’s a way to express the joy we feel around a particular event and mark it for future references/purposes. However, it’s not everyone who’s very good at celebrating or being celebrated.
Depending on your personality, it makes it easier to sustain your peace of mind during a festive period or other personal prompting occasions to keep to yourself and celebrate the way you like to.
You might call yourself weird for not, but you’re not.
You might lack the right kind of people to celebrate with, and that’s very okay.
You’re not a pretender because you chose your unique style of celebrating.
You might be lacking the stance despite having the people, and there are ways to deal with this.
Or you might simply enjoy watching others celebrate.
Whatever gives you joy is a celebration.
Happy Holidays ❤️
