First of All, this sounds like a whole lot of pressure. I understand where you’re coming from. Attempting to instil self-love and independence in oneself, but sounding this way isn’t only harsh but also like an ultimatum.

Some people want their significant other to lift them up and be patient with them. It doesn’t mean that they don’t know what they are doing or what to do. Neither does it mean they are reliant on them. There’s something also called validation. Which is essential in any relationship. I don’t know if you considered this. But validating someone’s emotion isn’t like enabling them. If anything, it’s showing compassion which can fuel their strength to rise up.

Every one needs sweet talking from time to time. And I’m one of those people it doesn’t derail. I need it and I’m willing to give it while telling you to grow up still. No words that sound like an ultimatum, insensitive, invalidation, impatient, or cold. It’s hard enough going through that stuff. But different strokes for different folks.

Thank you for other areas of enlightenment you mentioned. Such as self- love being a one-man venture not partner-dependent. And the fact that no matter who or what we ought to do the weightlifting ourselves.