A Birthday Letter/Eulogy to Myself
The only day I get to be selfish, with a tinge of shyness and guilt, is today.
It’s my birthday and I tend always to have this inner spark or joy that never resurfaced since I turned 25 years old or so. My life experience grew so much on me that it makes it difficult to acknowledge the butterflies that used to accompany birthday dates. The suspense the night before, the anticipation about who wishes you a happy birthday first amongst family and friends.
But then I digress…
Today is supposed to be a joyful day for me. In the spiritual realm, it’s expected that I am elated and feel blessed and grateful for witnessing another milestone. However, I feel a bit otherwise, uneasy and unsettled. Almost as if time’s getting by with revealing physical proofs, but no tangible change in several other realms.
Difficult situations keep arising, and as I get accustomed to each, new dynamics play out, throwing me yet another curveball.
Birthdays are fun, but I’m exhausted. I want to grow and not age. I only want to age as I grow and not one or the other.
A letter to myself
Dear Comet, you’re such a sweet girl. You’ve been through so much emotionally and mentally, believing that the world will align to fit your person, little did you know you were in for a rude shock. You grew up with so much hope and dreams. You were a beautiful little girl who believed in her prowess as one to conquer the world by gaining its attention until things switched up on you. Since then, it has felt like you refused to grow as you developed.
Dear Comet, you’ve been strong for too long, masking your true pain and feelings, hiding your trauma inconspicuously. I’ve transformed into the version that took what the world gave me personally, forgetting that life happens for everyone. I’ve made despair, fear, and pretense my anchor to sailing my life.
Dear Comet, it’s time to finally acknowledge you still have that power. It’s time to learn that your age or aging is a natural process and cannot keep stopping you. It’s time to act according to what your intuition informs you. It’s time to rise, leverage your personality to rise above the maiming spirit. It’s time to finally see yourself as the world around you sees you and believes in you. It’s time to check all the emotional baggage and mental setbacks and forge ahead. It’s time to put your best foot forward and leave the rest for the universe. Like heck, it’s time to put yourself out there and not hide under the shadows of your life ordeals, it’s time to make more mistakes and take more life lessons, it’s time to strictly apply the ones I’ve learned and grow through them. It’s time to put myself first while carrying others along — some of my best new-age resolutions…
Dear Comet, keep shining like the star you are. Keep making great impacts in the lives of the people you meet whether they seem to get it or not- emotionally and otherwise. Keep healing, keep growing, and keep aging in great wisdom.
Happy Birthday to Dear Me💝
Yours Faithfully,
Comet
