4 Stages of Transcendence into a Newer, more Authentic Upgraded, Version of Yourself

Photo by Saltanat Zhursinbek on Unsplash

As we go through the waves of life and encounter hard times, many things happen on the inside before we manifest (externally) the results of what we’ve been through. I’m using hard times as an example because that’s when most growth, tenacity, and maturity take place — if you let it. Be it in our relationships, spiritual life, or general strive in life.

That being said, the stages involved are:

Sadness is the first emotion we encounter when things go wrong. Depending on what the causal factor is, we feel sad because we are sort of entitled to believe we deserve all the good things in life — and so no bad things are allowed. Even if this self-entitlement is infinitesimal, it’s, however, significant to make us feel downcast and sad when bad things happen.

Mostly, during this stage, you may encounter speech difficulty — the inability to relay your emotions. What you’re going through might be too heavy for your heart to take or your mind to comprehend. Therefore, you’re mainly speechless and lethargic in this phase.

Anger begins to replace sadness. This is when your mind has finished comprehending and started communicating some thoughts and information to you. You’re beginning to have a go at your situation, dissecting it for what it was and feeling the anger for the resultant factor. So, for example, if you were betrayed, you may start to feel anger toward yourself or others for it.

During this phase, usually, you’re more verbal with and about your emotions. You’re ready to talk about it to someone else or at least do something in one way or another toward it.

After anger comes relief. Not to say that relief couldn’t have come earlier. But there’s usually a sense of relief that comes from labeling one’s bad situation for what it was. In this phase, you can now tell you were betrayed. Your mind has fully comprehended it. Your thoughts have encapsulated and replayed all the pieces of information about the ordeal. And now, your head is willing to rest — in a way at least.

During this stage, you’re liable to take actions that would enable you to move forward. Such as creating boundaries or drawing the line to prevent such repetition in the future. After all, as higher animals, it is our natural prerogative to fight against threats even if unforeseen, and protect our minds and bodies alike.

Transcendence to growth is shown through our actions and the purity of our thoughts, after all, that’s happened. In this stage, we’re no longer as sad or bitter, although we may feel their tinge once in a while (seeing that growth isn’t linear). But overall, we are more likely to do things we paused all the while to figure out the bad situation. We may start hanging out again, talking, and going about our normal activities.

But one significant change has taken place in the form of how you do those things you normally used to do. Because the truth is, you’re no longer the same person, no matter how similar things still are. You’ve gone through stages of development, through immense difficulty that brought about this newer version of you. Even though you might not tell straight away.

You might be socializing but you’re way more cautious than before. You’ve learned your lessons and are better prepared not to repeat things as before. You may be talking but you’re sieving your words. You may remain in the same relationship, but you’re a totally new person, born from past ugly experiences, and developed (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and so on) through the various stages enlisted above.

Are you ready to see things from this angle and allow your pain to serve the purpose for which it came?

Thanks for taking the time to read.



A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.

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Comet N.

A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.