10 Quick Giveaway Signs You are in a Loveless, but a Good relationship

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Good relationships are ambiguous to understand. What one terms good, could be toxic for another. What one terms good, could be outright loveless. You hear people say things like oh the relationship were good but just wasn’t for them or they loved their significant other, but not enough to be with them.

Loveless relationships exist.

It is usually one of the most hidden precedent signs to the end of a relationship. In fact, loveless relationships are the ones that appear very amicable and enviable to the outside world. Because both parties involved are working harder to salvage what is too difficult to admit is already over.

Hence, why so many people in the end who divorce or go their separate ways always come up with a sweet convincing statement about how it all spiraled down and ended for public consumption. Especially the celebrities.

Statements like: “we decided to part ways amicably, we tried to work things out, but we figured the love we share as a family exceeds the one we ought to have for ourselves from ourselves”. Or “ things will remain amicable between us” (like it hadn’t already been all the while). Some crazy stuff like that. I could never really understand the level of pain and the loveless relationship they must be masking. When I read statements like this, I wonder if love and having a good relationship are mutually exclusive. But to a degree, it makes sense to assume so. As people can be found living and being in a loveless “good” relationship which appears seemingly healthy but is far from it.

So, to save us all that stress of conjuring up beautiful statements to mask the mess we’ve been through, it’d be better to digest some of these giveaway signs that determine if one is already in a loveless but good relationship.

1.) Amicability and lackluster

Yes, it’s a given that two people in a relationship must be amicable with one another. Agree to disagree. Come together and join forces even dig during or after some fights, misunderstandings, and arguments. But when amicability is the order of the day, the relationship might be more casual than portrayed. As it shows that they’re constantly trying to be nice, instead of acting out of love. No life, no excitement, just lackluster.

2.) Vulnerability

If you want to know a relationship that is dead and gone, try being in one where there’s no vulnerability. All the walls of defense are high up. All the tear ducts are dried up and everyone is tiptoeing around each other hoping not to be caught being humane. This is a pure loveless relationship.

3.) Accountability

Loveless relationship apportion blames and dodges bullets. Nobody is admitting to a fault or making an effort to address the issue specifically. They just carry out doing what they think is the best for the other person without fulfilling their actual needs.

4.) The phone calls stylishly minimize

When someone is no longer into you, they genuinely become too busy to dial your number all day every day. Simply because they were busy.

5.) The romance reduces subtly

All the romantic gestures go from frequently to eventfully and then till further notice. It disappears before your very eyes. Before you’ve even had the chance to sort of notice it.

6.) Intimacy dies off

The intimacy dies off. Every act of love becomes and feels like a chore. Questions like: what time of the day am I meant to make a move? Is it the right frame of mind to seduce him?

7.) Everything is a chore

You feel tired from hearing their voice, even if they are on the phone with somebody else. You feel tired from being awake and present while they’re with you. You just don’t want to do anything even when you’re doing nothing with them.

8.) The line of communication is zero

All you both do is greet and speak. You speak like two strange employees rattled by the tasks given by the boss. No one asks deep questions nor answers deeply content enough. You both are speaking from the tips of your mouths. Perhaps, to avoid getting on each other’s nerves.

9.) You become an adoptee or a pet

Rather than continue being a team, your significant other may start treating you like their child or a pet. So, they feed, clothe and house you, albeit your other needs and welfare go to shreds.

10.) Clinging to the past

If you must dwell on past glory to keep a relationship afloat, I’ve got bad news for you. It’s loveless already. Love is meant to be renewed like a vow in so many ways every day if possible, not forcefully recycled from the dump of the past.

There you have it. The loveless relationship is hard to detect and when it does painful to exit. Because they are normally good on the books. But what you must know is that if something doesn’t fit you, it can’t be good for you. So instead of staying where it looks all good, find where it fits more you and wear that. Life’s too short to be counting down to the days you’ll finally exit an emotionally draining, cold, narcissistic abuser. It’s definitely too short to be drawing up those amicable break-up lines. The signs are there, adhere to utilizing them.

Thanks for reading.

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Comet N.

Comet N.

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A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.